Not love Exactly
by NotExactlyLove
Summary: Hermione finds herself in need of Professor Severus Snape's assistance to fight a rare magical condition that could kill her, but things take an unexpected turn when she finds out the extent of his involvement with Voldemort. She has never considered her potions professor as anything but a sour man, but she gets to know the human side of him and finds herself wondering; is it love?
1. Chapter 1: strange happenings

Disclaimer, the story and it's characters are not mine, but I surely wish it was! Kudos to the owner, Jk Rowling. This disclaimer is the same for all the chapters in this story so it will be the only one.

This story is set in Hermione's sixth year, but she is considered of age from her use of the time turners in third year. It has the rating M for a reason, but not until later chapters, so consider yourself warned. There is a slash pairing in later chapters, I wont tell who but if this offends you I suppose you don't really care who the characters are. There are references to drug use (imagined by some very foolish Gryfindors), but nothing graphic at all. There could be mild cursing, but not excessive. There is mentions of people being killed and even a few scenes from raids.

Now that all the disclosures are finished, on to the story!

Hermione threw a giant snowball at her comrades in arms grinning when it hit it's target with a satisfying thump. She ducked down behind the snow wall she had built just barely missing a flying snowball that whistled over the top of the hill before hitting the tree behind her and bursting apart. They had been at it for hours now and her fingers were so numb from the cold that she barely managed to scrape together another snowball to throw in retaliation to the opposing team that consisted of Ronald and Neville.

She had Harry on her team thankfully so they weren't completely failing, but she wasn't too vain to admit that he was pulling most of the weight between the two of them. He gave her a playful grin that would make lesser girls melt and managed to make his numb fingers work to form a perfect snowball. He chucked it over the wall dodging the onslaught of snowballs. She knew it hit it's target when she heard a pained 'ow' from the opposing team.

"Should we check to see if he's okay?" She asked all the while making more snowballs to throw over.

"Naw, he's fine. He deserved it, the last one he hit me with had ice it it." Harry said sounding more light hearted than she had seen him in weeks. Voldemort had gone into hiding and there had been a tense silence over the wizarding world that was almost worse than all out war. No one knew what he was up to or what his next move would be exempt him, and maybe Snape, but if he knew he certainly wasn't telling.

She threw several snowballs over in succession hoping one would find their target, but all of her messy snowballs fell short breaking apart midair.

"Bugger it. How about I hide and you throw." She complained. He chuckled at her and started replacing their arsenal since the skies didn't have snowballs in them for the moment.

"How about I make them and you throw them?" He asked starting a pile of perfect snowballs and placing them by her side. He brushed some of the snow off his glasses with his sweatshirt which made the glasses snowier than before.

"You got something...there." She said teasingly motioning to his entire body. He laughed and shoved her playfully.

"Oh shove off you're hardly cleaner than I am." He said teasingly looking up when a snowball whizzed past. He gave her a mock serious look.

"The war continues my lady, shall we retaliate." He said offering her the snowball. She saluted him.

"Of course captain, your orders are my command." She took the offered snowball and chucked it over the hill missing Ron's bright red hair by inches when he ducked under. She grabbed another snowball and paused for a moment waiting for Ron to jump back up, but Nevile popped up and threw the snowball before she had a chance to react. The icy ball hit her square in the face and she squeaked falling back ungracefully into the snow.

"Hermione!" Harry shouted forgetting the snow ball fight and by he was by her side in an instance looking worried. She groaned and sat up rubbing her forehead where it had hit her wincing at her sensitive skin.

"I'm fine, it just shocked me is all." She assured him shifting to get all the way up, but he held her back. Her smile faltered when Ron and Neville came over looking just as worried.

"What?" She asked self-consciously worrying that she had an ugly bruise or something. Harry muttered something and conjured a cloth with an expert flick and held the fabric to her nose.

"I have a bloody nose?" She asked leaning back to see more blood on the material then she had expected.

"Let's get her the infirmary." Ron said not waiting for her to respond, but putting an arm under her and lifting her easily. Harry put his arm on her other side, and they practically carried her, taking her up to the castle quickly.

"I'm fine, it's just a little bit of a nose bleed." She said embarrassed at having been practically carried by the two boys with the whole school to see. Neville was walking in front of them and looked back at her worriedly. She sighed in frustration, her breath tickling the material Harry had plugged up to her nose with his free arm.

"It certainly won't hurt to have Madame Pomfrey to check you out, just in case." Harry said soothingly looking slightly paler than normal. Hermione wanted to snap at them that she could walk herself up to the infirmary herself, but refrained since they were just trying to be helpful.

"Mate, the rag is already..."

"I know." Harry said cutting Ron off sharply. By the time they actually got to the infirmary she was starting to lean a bit on the boys, and wasn't so embarrassed at the having been practically carrying her up.

"What happened?" Madame Pomfrey asked as soon as they came through the doors. She groaned when she saw who Madame Pomfrey had been taking care of. A very pleased looking Malfoy was sitting on one of the beds, smirking at having gotten some awesome blackmail from her pathetic entrance.

"We were having a snowball fight, and a snowball hit her on the head." Harry said as they were rushed to a bed where the boys set her down on carefully.

"Does your nose hurt dear? You had to have broken it for it to be bleeding this bad." Madame Pomfrey asked pushing away Harry's hand. She closed her eyes to push back the nausea she got at the sight of the red drenched material that Harry had been holding to her nose.

"No, it feels fine." She insisted opening her eyes after she was sure she wouldn't be sick. Both of the boys waited silently on the bed across from her while Madame Pomfrey fiddled with her nose trying to assure its unbroken status. When that didn't hold any answers to the broken nose, she ran her wand over Hermione chanting hurried diagnostic spells that she couldn't quite catch. When the mediwitch was done she leaned back and frowned as if it was a deeply troubling puzzle.

"It was probably just from the impact, I was hit pretty hard." Hermione fussed not liking having everyone looking at her so seriously.

"I have been hit in the head plenty of times by things harder than a snowball, and I never had a nosebleed than bad." Harry said conjuring another handkerchief and handing it to her since her nosebleed had yet to slow down. She took the handkerchief solemnly realizing she would be in the infirmary for a while.

"I think it would be best for me to do some tests, just to make sure everything is alright. It is most likely nothing, but I want to be sure." Made Pomfrey said after a moment and hurried off to gather what she presumed to be the test supplies.

"Great. Just bloody great." Hermione mumbled frustrated. She had a potions practical to study for tonight, she couldn't afford to spend all day here.

"Just relax and let her do her job okay Mionie?" Ron asked her laying a hand her her shoulder. He was worried, but she had the strange feeling it had to do more with their potions practical than her.

"Fine." She agreed reluctantly leaning against the white pillow, frowning when she realized the bed faced Malfoy's bed, who was watching her deal with the nosebleed with amusement. She was sure it would be in the headlines tomorrow.

_Gryffindor princess has nosebleed after snowball fight with dimwitted friends_.

She sighed.

"Madame Pomfrey will take care of me, you guys can go I'm sure this will take a while." She said with more than a hint of a grumble. Ron nodded agreeing easily to this.

"Alrite, well you get better soon Mionie." He said giving her a kiss on the cheek despite their slytherin company.

"Bye." She said feeling herself flush so she kept her eyes on her remaining bedside companion.

"You can go, really." She insisted with a wry smile. Harry snorted at this and kissed her hand that he had yet to let go of since Madame Pomfrey had left.

"I know, I am just worried is all, can't a best friend be worried?" He asked sitting down beside her, his genuine concern wiping out the hurt she had felt at Ron's severe lack of concern.

"Yes, of course, but someone might take it the wrong way." She said softly so the other occupant of the room wouldn't hear them. Harry had developed a crush on Malfoy last year and had never quite gotten over it. He was never foolish enough to make a move on the cocky Slytherin, but she knew Harry still felt for the blond who didn't return his affections.

"Oh let him." Harry said with a small chuckle and he brushed some of the stray hairs out of his brilliant green eyes. He had always been a strong person, but the last few years had made him confident, and he had developed emotionally in a way that Ron hadn't. He was still a little temperamental of course, but he had also mellowed out significantly.

"Oh how sweet, the two most nauseating gryffindors are finally getting together. What a little tramp you are Granger, just going from one boy to the next are we?" Malfoy asked with a sneer seeming a little too offended by the display. She smiled sweetly at him despite his harsh words.

"Yes, well at least I get some action Malfoy. When was the last time you went out?" She asked through the rag that was covering her nose making her sound muffled. He got the point however and blushed deciding to finally look out a window instead of at her.

"Alrite, that's enough." Madame Pomfrey said coming back in with her arms full of supplies to torment Hermione with. Hermione groaned and flopped back on the bed dejectedly. All this just for a snowball? Really?

"Out with you, I'll have someone come find you when she is done." She said firmly to Harry who pouted.

"But.."

"No buts young man, you need to leave so I can start work on your friend." She said cutting him off with a glare. Harry sighed, but let go of her hand giving it a final kiss.

"Bye Hermione, i'll see you later okay?" He said giving her an encouraging smile trying to lighten her mood. She gave him a weak smile in return and watched him leave.

"Let's start then." Madame Pomfrey said pulling out a potion that was a sickly green color. She winced and took a deep breath preparing herself for the onslaught of vile tests.

Next chapter, Hermione finds out what's causing her strange symptoms and has to decide what she would be willing to do to save herself.

Teaser- "Do you think it will work?" She asked surprised at how even the question came out. He hesitated, whether unwilling to crush her dreams, or face the wrath of Madame Pomfrey who was giving him an icy look, she wasn't sure.

"No."


	2. Chapter 2: Failure is an option

Thanks to all of those who have taken the time to read my story, here is what I have edited up to this point. Just so everyone knows, if there are any mistakes left, always feel free to let me know. I am taking a grammar class right now (my last grammar lesson was fifth grade since I was homeschooled beyond that) so it's still a work in progress!

Now onto the story!

An hour later she was feeling worse than she had felt when she had come in, but her nosebleed had finally ended. Madame Pomfrey bustled out, not giving her any information except her mumbling that she had to research something. Hermione sank back into the covers of the bed glad it was nearing dark. The light streaming in through the windows was actually relaxing instead of blinding like usual from reflecting off all the white surfaces in the infirmary.

"Whats wrong with you?" Malfoy asked looking up from the charms book he had been studying while she had been getting tested for everything under the sun.

"No idea." Hermione said tiredly. He frowned and looked at her thoughtfully for a moment.

"What?" She asked warily not sure if she wanted to know what he was thinking about.

"I was just trying to figure out what would cause your symptoms. It's not normal for a witch to be getting nosebleeds unless it's something major. You and your boy toy haven't been…" He asked trailing off not wanting to finish the question, but she caught on quickly.

"Heavens no, were not like that...at all." She said sitting up in bed to face the boy. He seemed relieved by her answer.

"So who is the golden boy with now anyways then?" He asked as if it didn't matter to him. She could have rolled her eyes at his round about way of figuring out Harry's orientation and availability.

"I don't think he's with anyone. He's rather picky, and the girls he has throwing themselves at his feet aren't really his type." She said evasively not wanting to outright say 'you idiot he's into you', but also knowing the blond was smart enough to read between the lines.

"Oh right." He said letting the subject drop, but seeming slightly more chipper knowing that.

"What are you here for?" She asked looking over the boy in confusion. He seemed perfectly normal, but he was obviously being kept here for observation or something. He didn't immediately answer, and he suddenly seemed very interested in his book so she figured he wouldn't answer, but after a moment he looked up giving her a blank look.

"I was cursed during a meeting." He said plainly. She frowned at this and shook her head.

"Why would you join him?" She asked the boy feeling sorry for his plight and at the same time annoyed with his bad decision making. He snapped his book closed and put it on the nightstand next to the bed.

"What would make you join him?" He asked turning her question back on herself. She crossed her arms and thought about his question.

"Nothing could ever make me join that monster." She said stubbornly. He snorted at this and folded his arms mimicking her.

"What if he would kill your family if you didn't join? You're really telling me that an honor bound gryffindor wouldn't do anything it took to protect their family?" He asked her mockingly. She opened her mouth to retort, but quickly shut it unable to deny his comment.

"Thats what I thought." He said satisfied that he had won the argument. She sighed and leaned against the wall behind her and shut her eyes, not tired enough to sleep, but not wanting to think anymore about the all too real possibility of her parents being killed. At some point she had fallen asleep though, despite her lack of sleepiness, since Madame Pomfrey woke her up with a soft shake.

"Wake up dear." She said softly. Hermione groaned and opened her eyes, shaking off her sleep easily when she saw what company she was in. Not only was Madame Pomfrey there, but she had brought a very unpleased looking Snape. She glanced towards the bed Draco had been in hoping he would at least give her some back-up with Professor Snape since he was his godson and all, but he was gone.

"Yes?" She asked nervously shifting so she wasn't slumped in the bed. Madame pomfrey looked at her kindly and with a pity that unnerved her and was apparent even in the dark of the infirmary.

"I've discovered what's caused your strange symptoms my dear." She said, her voice not holding its usual bitterness.

"What is it?" Hermione asked, not sure if she wanted to know if the tense feeling she was getting was anything to go by.

"It's a rare form of magical poisoning. It is a rather destructive one as well. It can cause hemorrhaging, abscesses, and even can lead to death. Don't worry though, we will do everything we can to make sure you're in tip top shape before you know it." Madame Pomfrey said with a little too much enthusiasm. Hermione felt her breath catch at the mention of death. She had just been enjoying a light wonderful afternoon with her friends, she couldn't be dieing could she? Surely fate wasn't so cruel? She looked to Professor Snape who glared down at her with only slightly less venom than usual.

"Professor?" She asked, her voice cracking with a numb sort of emotion that seemed at once non existent, and also overwhelming. He swallowed and shifted looking uncomfortable at her turning to him for such a delicate clarification. She knew he would tell it to her like it was, he would not sugar coat it or give her false hopes that weren't there. He was a realistic much as she herself was, and she knew she could trust him to give her the honest truth.

"I would suggest enjoy the time you have but still make arrangements for if treatment isn't successful." He said stiffly, his dark eyes emotionless even in the darkness of the infirmary. She took a shuddering breath to calm back the panic that threatened to overwhelm her at his words and nodded stiffly instead.

"Do you think it will work?" She asked surprised at how even the question came out. He hesitated, whether unwilling to crush her dreams, or face the wrath of Madame Pomfrey who was giving him an icy look, she wasn't sure.

"No."

She felt her chest constrict in pain. Pain for the life she had dreamed she would have after Voldemort was vanquished. Pain for what little of a life she had lived. Pain for knowing very few would miss her whens he was gone.

"I would like to be alone." She said cutting across the outburst from Madame Pomfrey at Professor Snape for his indiscretion when dealing with sensitive children. The yelling stopped immediately and a moment later she was alone. She suddenly wished Draco was back and would distract her from the reality of her situation. She let her head fall into her hands to hide her tears from the cruel world she lived in. What she wouldn't do to turn back time permanently for even ten minutes.

Even magic couldn't fix her now though. Maybe her parents were right, maybe this world wasn't for her after all. She sobbed into her hands desperately letting out the anguish at having her future taken away from her wash over her.

It was almost dawn before she stopped crying and had fallen asleep in a tight ball on the cold bed without any covers over her to keep her warm.

When she woke up she had a terrible crick in her neck though and found that she had been covered at some point in the night with several of the white infirmary blankets that had prevented the majority of the mid morning chill from seeping into her bones like it normally did at this time of year.

She groaned and snuggled into the blankets unwilling to get up and ruin the blissful lack of emotional hardship she felt at that moment.

"She's awake." A bored voice drawled from beside her bedside. Her eyes snapped open to see a blond sitting next to her reading a thick book that was written in what looked like french.

"Malfoy." She said uncomfortably shifting so she was sitting up in the bed. She grinned at Harry who was seated on her other side and looked slightly ruffled, but pleased.  
"Morning, Madame Pomfrey said you had a long night, but damn Hermione, it's almost dinner time. I thought you'd never wake up." Harry said fondly scooting his chair closer to the bed putting down the book that was much lighter than Malfoy's.  
"Sorry, I didn't fall asleep until morning. She wanted to keep me up for observation." Hermione lied easily feeling guilty, especially when Draco raised an eyebrow at her obviously not as trusting as Harry who nodded sympathetically.

"Well, she did say you could get out tomorrow. Apparently Snape has somethings to talk with about, but you'd be fine to leave in the morning" Harry said happily, brushing some stray strands of hair out of his eyes and glancing at the blond to her right.

"RIght, so what are you doing here Draco?" She asked purposefully trying not to think about whatever Professor Snape wanted to discuss with her. She couldn't get all emotional in front of her friends, it would be a dead giveaway.

"Draco?" He asked with a sneer that reminiscent of his godfather. She rolled her eyes and pulled her knees up to her chest.

"Well, since you waited at my bedside, I figured I could at least call you by your first name." She said lightly.

"I figured I'd come check on you to see if the rumors going around were true." He said blandly picking some lint off his robes. It was her turn to raise an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Really? And what were these rumors?" She asked with amusement and also some curiosity.

"That you had been turned into a vampire and was currently getting iv's of blood so you didn't go around biting everyone you see." Draco said, his expression neutral, but she could see the teasing nature of the statement in his slate grey eyes. She laughed heartily and felt some of her tension from knowing her death was imminent diminish coming out in the form of hysteric laughter. The way the boys looked at each other in unison as if she had lost her mind made it all the funnier to her foggy brain, and she laughed until her ribs hurt and she was gasping for breath.

"Oh wow, and I thought Professor Snape was the vampire." She said with a giggle.

"I am." Professor Snape said gravely having come in during her delirious laughing apparently. Her smiled faltered and she looked up at him to see him stalk towards her looking very much indeed like a vampire. Just without the fangs of course. The boys both paled waiting for the point deductions to begin, but they were dismissed without even a glance.

"Go away, I have things to discuss with Ms. Granger." He said coldly ignoring the timid 'bye' from his godson. He glared at her not even flinching when the doors shut with a loud bang.

"You have two options." He started stopping his glare to pull out a tiny bowl from his pocket and magically enlarging it. He also pulled out a small knife doing the same with it, and also pulled out a disgusting looking potion that was a thick black goop that didn't move even when he set it down none too gently. He finally looked to her and she couldn't help by notice how tired he looked. Apparently she wasn't the only one who didn't get sleep last night.

"What are the two options?" She asked nervously, but she uncurled and moved closer so she could see what he had taken out. He sat down on the chair Draco had just vacated and folded his arms managing to look much like a dark statue in his stiff teacher robes.

"Magic is a combination of positive magic, and negative magic. When you cast a spell you use a small portion of the energy the clash of the two forces creates, and you focus this energy much like a copper wire would transport an electrical charge." He explained calmly in his professor voice, some of his iceness dissipating when he realized she was listening and wasn't going to start breaking down into a sobbing mess in front of him. She nodded for him to continue, not sure how this had anything to do with the two options she had for a cure.

"In a pureblood, this constant flow is easily controlled since the body of a pureblood has had generations to evolve to handle such reactions. In a muggleborn however, sometimes the gene that gives the body a resistance towards the reaction is absent, or not as strong as needed." He continued. He had unfolded his arms but started fidgeting with the small knife absently mindedly, purposely avoiding her eyes when he mentioned her blood status. She knew he was a death eater and had joined Voldemort with the purpose of killing all muggle borns, so she wasn't really surprised by his reluctance to speak on the subject.

"In your case, the reaction has gone unchecked for too long and has created an excess of the energy from the reaction, and it can't filter this energy through the body like normal, so it is essentially stuck inside of you poisoning you, and creating chaos. It explains your erratic magical surges, and also your weight loss as the magic makes you ill." He said pausing for a moment. She was taken aback that he had noticed she had lost weight, not even Harry had noticed. She hadn't felt like eating lately, but very few ever paid her any mind. For the normally stoney professor to have noticed such a thing was surprising. He continued with his lecture finally looking at her.

"We have to get it out, or it will kill you, your levels are reading at a high level that many do not ever recover from. I can either try a potion to help force the energy out of you, or we can try encouraging your body to force it out by giving it somewhere when it can focus the energy and let it release the internal imbalance it's creating." He said pointing to potion, then holding up the knife when describing the latter option. She had never been good with blood, so even the thought of cutting herself open was dizzying, but it looked like a much better option than the tar potion so she decided to give it a try.

"I will try the second option first. Mind you, blood makes me dizzy so I think I'd need Madame Pomfrey to stand in just incase I pass out." She said determinedly holding her hand out for the knife. He quirked an eyebrow and moved the knife away from her.

"You don't really think I'f let you cut yourself right? I will do it foolish child." He said irritated. She eyed him nervously, not sure if she trusted him enough to cut her open. Six years of prejudice and hate did not just dissipate because you knew you were dying anyways. He sensed her hesitation and sighed dramatically.

"I promise I will not suck your blood, or turn you to a vampire. Your such a know-it-all, and yet you can't even catch a simple joke" He said with more than a hint of impatience. She looked at him and realized that was honestly why he thought she was hesitating. She couldn't help but laugh at the stoic man.

"What?" He asked glaring at her now.

"Nothing. Just didn't realize you had a sense of humor." She said amusedly smiling despite the seriousness of the situation. His eyes darkened considerably at this.

"And no one will know. I have a reputation to uphold." He growled at her. She nodded and offered her arm to him with a smile. He took it roughly and put the bowl in his lap. He held her arm over the bowl surprising her with how close he willingly let her get to him. He looked up to her as if waiting.

"You may want to close your eyes." He said after a long moment.

"Oh, right." She said feeling slightly foolish, but closing her eyes anyways. He was not exactly an easy person to trust, but she supposed underneath his cold demeanor he was just a person too. A human who didn't always enjoy what he did, but had to do it anyways. This was just one of a million things he had to do that he would hate himself for she was sure. She felt a rush of guilt that blocked out the pain of the deep cut he made across her forearm.

"Relax. It will help your magic even itself out." He instructed, his voice even but silky. He had a firm hand around her wrist holding it in place and she was sure he had gotten her blood on his hand, but he didn't seem to care. He was a tall man, but she had never realized how large his hands were until they were wrapped around her wrist as if it was nothing. She felt herself relax knowing he wouldn't let her bleed to death or anything like that. It would after all be redundant since he could very well just kill her by not treating her if he wanted her dead.

"Damn it." He mumbled darkly and she opened her eyes wishing she hadn't done so as soon as she opened them. The bowl had almost filled with blood, her blood, coming from her arm.

"Ugh." She said grabbing onto his broad shoulder to keep herself from falling over with the sudden wave of dizziness that she got.

"Foolish girl, I told you to keep your eyes closed." He snapped.

"I thought something was wrong." She said closing her eyes again and trying to get back to the place where she had been a moment before.

"It's not working." He said distractedly. She heard him murmuring a soft healing spell under his breath that sent a warmth through her that seemed to heal more than her wound. She opened her eyes and was glad to find her dizziness gone, and the blood gone, her skin healed to its usual pale color.

"Thanks." She mumbled leaning back so she wasn't leaning on him, feeling her cheeks heat at their close proximity. He seemed unfazed by it and was warming the black potion with a warming spell.

"This will taste disgusting, but it has a higher chance of success." He said uncorking the vial and handing the vial of now slightly movable gunk to her. She grimaced knowing it was better than death, but she wasn't sure by how much.

"I don't suppose sugar will help?" She asked looking to Professor Snape who rolled his eyes.

"No, not at all actually. Drink up." He said impatiently waiting for her to drink the potion. She took a deep breath and tipped the potion back barely managing to drink the whole thing without getting sick. She covered her mouth as soon as she finished it, gagging on the taste and feeling her stomach threaten to overturn the nasty addition.

"Yuck." She said in disgust. He took the empty vial from her with a frown.

"If you regurgitate it, please do so in the other direction, these are my nice robes." He said impatiently waving his wand again over her and whispering the same strange spell that eased her stomach immediately. She had many curses and spells cast on her in her time at Hogwarts, but the rush of his magic through her had warmed her in a way that she had never encountered before and seemed entirely inappropriate.

"What was in that?" She asked wrapping her arms around her knees so she was effectively in a ball. While the spell had eased her nausea, it didn't get rid of the sensation of having tar in her stomach.

"Hogwort. Otherwise known as Croton capitatus. Known for it's amazing properties of breaking down magic." Snape quoted as if we're reading it straight from a book. She snorted at the irony of him quoting her something as if he hadn't taken at least a hundred points from her in the past from her for doing the same thing.

"Know-it-all." She mumbled with a smile. She hadn't thought he had heard her, but he responded to her comment.

"Yes, well, I am a potions master, so I am allowed to be a know-it-all." He said evenly. He waved his wand over her and she looked up to see him frowning.

"It didn't work." She said guessing the answer from his expression. He shook his head and sat back in his chair.

"I will try to make something else to cure it, but I can make no guarantees." He said firmly, his dark eyes meeting hers somehow managing to not betray a single emotion, and yet show a depth that she had never expected there.

"Thank you." She said softly looking away from him not wanting to think about the all too likelihood of him failing. He gave her a curt nod and stood up shrinking all the supplies they had used.

"Professor?" She asked when he started to turn to go. He paused and she hesitated not sure if she should say anything, her resolve suddenly crumbling, but he waited for her to say something so she finally decided to just go ahead.

"You are a good man." She said softly. He was surprised by her statement, but recovered quickly masking his expression to one of cold indifference as usual.

"It's my job to make you think that Ms. Granger, so be careful who you trust." He said icily, then swept out in a billow of robes that only he could achieve. She wasn't sure what to think of his reply, but her contemplations were abruptly pushed aside by a very excited Harry who had apparently been waiting right outside of the door for Professor Snape to leave. According to the overexcited boy, Draco had insisted that Harry was to call him Draco, and not Malfoy. A silly thing, but with a love was as unlikely as theirs, any small milestone was like crossing the Atlantic ocean.

Teaser- "So what is the next step since the usual methods have failed?" Hermione asked feeling a desperation settle over her. He had always protected them in the past, but now she wasn't quite so sure he would be able to get her out of this mess. His response did little to change this feeling.

"Your guess is as good as mine." He said, breaking what little hope she had left.


	3. Chapter 3: Friends in low places

Thank you for reviewing! It keeps me motivated!

I am not sure if I was more excited about finishing this chapter, or starting the next! Next chapter we get to see things heat up between Hermione and Snape…

She was released from the infirmary with specific instructions to take it easy and not put herself in any extremely emotional situations. It could force accidental magic since her magic was unstable, and could cause her to literally blow herself up from the inside out. She went to the library figuring that was a nice safe place that wouldn't cause any emotional upheaval. She didn't particularly want to blow up.

She sat in her usual chair in the very back of the library, glad that no one had taken it. Very few people ever did since the leather on it was a little ratty, and the lighting was dim since there were no windows, but she didn't mind. It was quiet and away from the regular bustle of the library, and right now she didn't really want to see anyone. She started pulling books that she thought might help her with trying to find a cure for the magical poisoning and stacked them on the desk next to the leather chair.

Several books into the stack she finally found a reference to a similar situation, though she wasn't sure if it was referencing the same thing that she had.

Brunette Trinity was well known for her spectacular death from a rare condition that caused her magic to implode at her aunt's wedding. Several specialists have studied the condition she had, but very few answers were ever found. This case exemplifies the importance of blood purity in the health of a witch or wizard.

She snapped the book in disgust at both at the prejudiced book, and the reminder of what could be her untimely end. The thought of being here one second, and then just gone the next was a terrifying one. She sifted through the books and found one on magical diseases to see if it might provide a little more depth than the previous book. Magical poisoning didn't have it's own section, but did have a reference in the index so she turned to the page mentioned and skimmed over, finding very little useful information on it.

Poisoning is not to be confused with magical poisoning, which is a rare condition caused by a person with a genetic defect being unable to keep the balance of magic in their body under control. Several cures have been tried, but few are successful, and the bezor that treats a normal poisoning is uneffective.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes after she was unable to find anything else in the stack of books she had gotten. She had figured that Madam Pomfrey meant rare as in how a unicorn was rare. Uncommon enough to surprise you, but you wouldn't have a heart attack when you saw it either. Apparently magical poisoning was more along the lines with the scarcity of the latter.

She put the books back dejectedly ignoring the bell that signaled classes had begun. She figured her teachers wouldn't be expecting her back so soon anyways, so it wouldn't kill her to be late for one class. Her perfect attendance record would more than make up for her skiving off a few morning classes.

She decided to go to the kitchens since she was actually hungry, and knew she should put on what weight she could while she still have some sort of appetite for it. She was just finishing a delectable mouse that the helpful elves had brought her when the kitchen door opened and none other than Professor Snape came in looking ridiculously tall next to the short elves. He glared at her when he realized he wasn't alone, but didn't take points and started making himself a coffee. The poor house elves didn't even bother to try to offer him anything, obviously more than used to his cheerful demor.

"If you are going to skive off my class, you probably should do so a little more subtily." He said waspishly, pouring the coffee mug half full with coffee, then adding some tea to it creating what could only be a disgusting mixture.

"I didn't realize it was your class I had missed." She said honestly. Not that it mattered, she wouldn't have gone anyways. She finished off her desert and took a water off a tray that a rather short house elf was holding up expectantly.

"Thank you." She said to the little elf who looked like they might faint with pleasure at the display of gratitude.

"I'm sure. You know, dieing or not, you will be expected to attend classes." He said coldly looking to her without any sensitivity. She glared right back at him to keep herself from crying at his callus use of her condition to taunt her.

"Well, I guess I shall just go to class every day like a good girl, shouldn't I? Ignore Madame Pomfrey's warning to stay out of any stressful situations. Your class is hardly a walk in the park, though I don't know which is worse, your insensitivity, or your lack of patience to actually teach the students who need your instruction." She spat at him wishing he would just go back to his classes so she could enjoy the rest of her day alone sulking.

He took a deep drink of his coffee/tea then smirked for some unknown reason.

"Yes, well I suppose you will die in my class after I tell you not to help a hopeless case such as Longbottom, then you will have to haunt me for the rest of my residence at Hogwarts." He said leaning against the counter in a relaxed way that she could almost envision him doing with a faculty member, and not just a random student. Her anger abated slightly at his use of humor and she set down her water after drinking most of it.

"Oh you know I will. I will forever be leaning over your shoulder whispering in your ear 'don't worry, be happy.' until I am content that you have been driven mad." She teased back relaxing with the turn in the conversation. She couldn't help but be surprised when he chuckled at her as if he understood the reference to the muggle song.

"Indeed." He said recovering quickly taking another deep swig of the noxious liquid.

"You know, your master would not be pleased to know you understand a muggle reference. He might question your blood status." She said boldly figuring he would blow up at her for it, but to her surprise he just raised an eyebrow to her.

"I suppose he will simply never have to know. Secrets are not always a bad thing." He said evenly, his dark eyes boring into hers with an intensity that made her shift nervously.

"I don't plan on telling Harry or Ron." She declared changing the subject matter away from him before he became defensive. She slid onto the counter behind her since she was starting to feel slightly dizzy and the nearest chair would mean crossing his path.

"A wise decision. The Dark Lord must not find of your vulnerability. He would surely use it to his advantage." He said smoothly tipping back the remainder of his coffee and turning to leave.

"So what is the next step since the usual methods have failed?" Hermione asked feeling a desperation settle over her. He had always protected them in the past, but now she wasn't quite so sure he would be able to get her out of this mess. His response did little to change this feeling.

"Your guess is as good as mine." He said with a cold shrug, breaking what little hope she had left. She took a deep steadying breath to compose herself.

"I want to help with finding a cure. Two heads are better than one, right?" She said resultly. He turned back to her and she could see his indecision, but after a moment he nodded reluctantly.

"It is inexcusable for you to miss one of my classes. Detention at 8pm tonight, my office." He said in his authoritative voice. He glanced once more at her sitting on the counter, but then left in a flurry of robes. She sighed and hopped off the counter figuring while she was free of classes, she should see the headmaster. He had left a few days ago to do some crazy mission he hadn't really given details too, but he was due back at noon, and he was never late.

She figured out the password to the gargoyle pretty easily and bounded up the stone stairs. Nobody answered when she knocked on his door, so she tried the doorknob surprised to find it unlocked. She went into his office nervously not sure if he had any warding on the door or such, but it opened easily so she went in. The only movement in the room was a very haggard looking fawkes who was obviously getting close to his regeneration cycle. She sighed and went over to the perch holding the bird figuring it might take some time for the headmaster to come back.

"I don't suppose you have any ideas for fixing me do you?" She asked the bird who nuzzled into her hand when she pet him. His feathers had lost their coloring, but were still impressively soft.

"I don't suppose you could heal me could you?" She asked the phoenix who thrilled sadly and shook his head in a way that could almost be considered him shaking its head no. She sighed and placed a kiss on the birds beak.

"Well thanks anyways." She said dragging her feet to sit down on the over plush chair the headmaster always kept across from his desk. She curled up content for waiting for the long haul so she pulled out a book. About ten minutes into the book a flash of flames caught her attention and she looked up to see fawkes gone and a pile of ashes on the tray beneath his perch. She smiled and shut the book to get up and see the little bird that replaced the larger one. It was hideous, but small and somehow so ugly it was cute. She picked up the little baby bird and smiled when it tried to stand up in her hand, but was unbalanced so tipped over.

"Quite amazing how even death won't stop a phoenix." The headmaster said making her jump in surprise.

"Oh, I…" She stumbled realizing how bad it looked for her to be in his office without permission. She hadn't considered it when she had decided to hide out there. He smiled genuinely at her and shook the shoot off his robes from the floo.

"Please, have a seat. I got Poppy's message." He said indicating to the fluffy chair she had been in only moments before. She set the little baby fawkes back in the ashes and sat down nervous about what he would say. She had hoped he would have some sort of solution they hadn't thought of, but if he was just as lost as they were, she knew she would be crushed. He sat down and offered her a lemon drop, taking one himself when she shook her head.

"I have a theory of what we can do. It could work, or it could speed up your demise." He said leaning back in his chair, the twinkle she normally saw in his eyes gone. She swallowed hard and nodded for him to continue.

"We could try to force the magic out of you by putting you in an extremely emotional situation." He said templing his fingers and looking at her over his glasses that sat on the edge of his nose. She was sure she had to have misheard him.

"But Poppy said it would kill me." She argued not seeing how his idea wasn't registering as insane to him.

"It could, or it could reset the balance of the energy in you body and force out the magic that's poisoning you." He said patiently. She shook her head.

"It's too dangerous. I would rather take the chance that it will kill me later on rather than speedup the process." She said firmly feeling her hopes diminish at his terrible idea.

"It could work though if your control over your magic was strong enough that it kept your actual magic in check while it forced the magic that is poisoning you out." He said with a small smile. She frowned not ever having heard of such control over one's magic.

"How would I learn to do that?" She asked curiously. He observed her carefully for a long moment as if trying to decide how much to tell her.

"Severus was not recruited to the ranks of the death eaters for nothing. He is extremely gifted in more than one specialty, and can manipulate his magic at will. It took him some time to manage, but I'm sure he can give you some advice for how to control your magic." He said sounding all too pleased. She sighed knowing he had to be the one who had requested that Snape help her in the first place. Why on earth he would want to keep putting her in the path of the sour man, she couldn't fathom, but didn't care since it seemed she would need to use his knowledge to survive.

"There isn't a book I could read on it?" She asked hopefully. He chuckled and took another lemon drop.

"I will suggest to Severus that he should write a book on it. As far as I know he's the only person with enough knowledge to write a book on the subject." He said playfully, the tense mood dissipating slightly and the twinkle coming back in his eyes.

"Why did he learn such a strange thing?" She asked unable to figure out any situation where he would have to manipulate his magic, let alone take the time to learn how to do it without any resources to help. The headmaster gave her a contemplating look.

"Intent is not the only way to make a spell work." He said tipping his head to the side waiting for her to catch on. She could have hit herself on the head.

"Right, he would have to perform spells for Voldemort that he didn't necessarily have the intent for. It would be suspicious if he couldn't curse someone and show he was loyal." She said working it out rather quickly. The headmaster nodded gently.

"I assume I don't have to say, anything you learn of him while training must not be spoken about?" He asked giving her a serious look. She nodded surprised the headmaster would trust her with information that could get Professor Snape killed. He dismissed her with a wave of his hand.

"Let me know if you need any assistance." He said kindly. She wasn't sure if he meant with the poisoning, or with Professor Snape, but she gave him a smile and left. She spent the rest of the day in the library trying to avoid everyone and they questions they would have because she had missed class after a simple nosebleed. She finally had to return to the common room about an hour before her detention to change and regretted her decision almost immediately. The room's attention wasn't on her, but on Harry and Ron fighting in the middle of the room.

"Sometimes that's all you care about." Harry spat at the red head oblivious to the fact that everyone was watching.

"Just because I asked where Hermione was so I could get some help with my homework, don't mean that I don't care about her." Ron yelled back, his face a plump red much like his hair.

"No you care about yourself too don't you" Harry said sarcastically.

"She's hardly an inviting person, you can't blame me if I don't jump at the opportunity to spend more time with her. All she does is lecture me and quote books." Ron retorted angrily. Harry opened his mouth to retort, but stopped when he saw Hermione standing there. The common room went silent.

"Hermione…" Ron started, unsure of what exactly to say to her. His face had paled instantly realizing his mistake, but she just inhaled deeply and stalked past both of them unable to deal with the drama right now. She took her precious time in the shower and tied her wet messy hair up in a bun to keep it out of the way. She threw on some of her looser robes not feeling up to being in her form fitting school ones. When she was done and looked half-way presentable she strode out of the room and past both boys who jumped to speak with her. She didn't even glance their way and slammed the portrait shut in their faces glad she could get at least that bit of anger out.

"Hey, watch it!" The fat lady yelled down the corridor, but she was walking so fast she barely heard it. She couldn't believe the nerve of that boy. To use her for her knowledge was one thing, but to announce it in front of the entire common room that she was only good for her knowledge and was a nag was beyond embarrassing. She would never have done something like that to him, and yet he did it to her without another thought.  
She hesitated when she got to Professor Snape's door, taking a moment to compose herself. She knew the meeting would be a tiring one and she wasn't sure if she could go through with it right now. The decision was taken out of her hands when the door flung open and Professor Snape glowered down at her.

"Waiting on something?" He asked coldly. She gulped and shook her head rushing inside to meet her doom.

Teaser- "It's not that difficult Ms. Granger, you just have to focus." Professor Snape snapped at her. She sighed and rubbed her forehead trying to force out the intruding thoughts that having his magic entwined with hers created.


	4. Chapter 4: Under my skin

Thank you for my reviewers, I love feedback and knowing someone is finding this story as interesting as I am. Also thanks to all my followers, I will try to update as often as possible for you guys :)

My little one helped with this chapter so if there are any random letters or numbers, that would be his doing, please let me know! Gotta love the help!

She sat down in the offered chair and folded her arms defensively, unsure of what to do with herself in the presence of the intimidating man. She tried not to let her shock show when he pulled up a chair and sat across from her, only giving about six inches of room between the two of them after he had sat down. He glared at her as if there close proximity was her idea and some of his hair fell in his face. She wanted to reach out and touch it to see if it was really greasy. She had always thought it was a protective oil put on it for the long days in the potions classroom fumes, but she knew he would not hesitate to kill her if she tried to touch him. She folded her hands in her lap instead.

"The headmaster has told me his thoughts on training you to control your magic. After a very lengthy discussion, I decided I would do as he asked and teach you how to force the magic out. However, if you try to practice this by yourself without my magic to ground you, I will stop teaching you. It is a dangerous skill to have, and I will only put the knowledge in the hands of the responsible and trustworthy." He said coolly watching for her reaction. She nodded hesitantly not sure if she could resist the temptation to perfect a skill such as this, but she knew she would have to agree for him to teach her. He sighed as if he could read her thoughts and rolled his eyes.

"I will make it a point to single you out and give you plenty of detentions. My master will only be too happy with my vindictiveness so as long as you assist me with some grading, I will endeavor to practice enough with you that you wont have any need to practice by yourself." He relented in a surprising show of humanity. She gave him a small smile.

"Thank you, I will be careful and do as you ask then." She said firmly glad when this seemed to convince him and he gave her a curt nod.

"Very well, everything that occurs here will stay here, Vegas rules apply." He said with slightly less of an edge than earlier. She smirked at the muggle reference.

"Of course, Vegas rules." She joked back feeling something flutter in her stomach when he actually smiled at her. It was the briefest of smiles, but it was something she never she thought she would see from the man. As soon as she saw it though, it was gone and his normally stoic demeanor was back.

"I will need to hold you hands for this. I will use my magic to help you pinpoint where the toxic energy is and will guide you in expelling it." He said in full teacher mode. She offered her hands and tried not to think when his long fingers curled around hers in a gesture that could have been considered intimate if not for the taboo of any sort of intimacy between them.

"Relax, close your eyes and focus." He ordered her firmly. She closed her eyes obediently and felt a rush of magic recognizing instantly it was his. It had a strange sense of familiarity and soothed her nerves in a way a calming draught never could. She felt the magic tingle under her skin moving along smoothly as if it belonged there. She sighed and relaxed letting the magic lead her senses and she quickly felt the room melt away.

Then it was only her magic and his darker magic that was skating on the outskirts of her magic. She could feel his energy pressed against hers and she tried to relax to let it into her core, but after what felt like only minutes, but what was actually hours, she found the magic still unable to get into her core.

"It's not working." She stated abruptly opening her eyes. He had his open already and was glaring down at her.

"Close your eyes." He snapped. She felt like fussing back, but relented and closed her eyes. This time when his magic traveled under her skin, it seemed superficial and it didn't send her into a pleasant trance like last time. She could still vividly feel his hands holding hers, and smell the crisp scent of potion ingredients that she had never noticed he carried around on him. She felt her thoughts change direction when his magic started to dig a little deeper trying to get past what she assumed was a magical shield, but this forceful contact only seemed to make her mind travel in far more treacherous directions.

"Can we be done?" She asked opening her eyes again and taking her hands back giving him no choice in the matter.

"It's not that difficult Ms. Granger, you just have to focus." Professor Snape snapped at her. She sighed and rubbed her forehead trying to force out the intruding thoughts that having his magic entwined with hers created.

"Well I think I'm all out of focusing power for today, so continuing won't do anything but drain my patience." She said irritability. He didn't respond, but stood up and sent the chair he had been sitting on flying back to the other side of the room.

"You should practice meditation, your mind is far too chaotic." He said going to a shelve and pulling off a thick book and handing it to her making sure there fingers didn't touch as if they hadn't just been holding hands for the last two hours.

"Read this, it will help."

"You were in my mind?" She asked horrified. He walked to his desk and sat down languidly in his black leather chair that tipped back when he sat in it, oblivious to her embarrassment. Or perhaps simply enjoying it.

"Not directly. I got the general gist of everything you were thinking, just without any specific words or images." He said leaning back in the chair looking far too pleased when she groaned and dropped her head in her hands.

"I will just go now." She said wishing she had never agreed to this. He smirked and waved her off.

"Yes, be off with you before your precious Potter and Weasley send out a search party." He said dismissing her. She gave him a glare, but couldn't hold any real ice in it when she saw how his black eyes sparkled when he was amused.

"Good night sir." She said leaving to face Harry, and perhaps even Ron, and the long drawn out completely nonsensical apologies they would give her.

She not not disappointed in the amount of apologies she received, but she was disappointed to see that Ron hadn't stayed up. She didn't even really feel like Harry had done anything besides defend her honor, so she was hardly angry with him. After he had flooded her with at least a dozen ways of saying 'I'm sorry' she finally grabbed him by the shoulders getting his attention.

"I said I'm not mad at you Harry, I know the Dursleys blamed everything on you, but I promise every bad event is not a direct result of something you did. Ron made his own decisions, and that is that." She said none too firmly. He looked up at her sadly, but after a moment he seemed to believe her because he gave her a smile.

"You sure?" He asked hesitantly without any mocking tone that normally would have accompanied the words. She grinned at him and gave him a hug adoring how sensitive he was even when he drove her insane.

"Yes, I'm sure Harry." She said squeezing him tightly knowing it would make him laugh, and she found she wasn't disappointed when she got him to chuckle at her over enthusiastic techniques.

"Where'd you stalk off too anyways?" He asked her curiously drawing back from the hug. She sighed knowing her lies would begin now.

"Well Professor gave me detention for skiving off detention." She admitted sitting down on the couch in the common room. Harry sat besides her and waved his wand at the fire making the flames grow a bit higher and help smooth out the chill in her bones that had started seeping through with the loss of Snape's magic around her.

"He's a complete git. You had been in the hospital wing only the day before and have a perfect attendance record." He said angrily as he wrapped his arm around her pulling her close to him. She snuggled into the embrace needing the comfort.

"Well, what's done is done. I can't change him. What are your plans for the holidays? Ron said Mrs. Weasley invited you for winter break, right?" She asked changing the subject away from bashing Snape. Harry was playing with her hair and curling it around his fingers absently. It was a habit he had only started since coming out to her and she suspected before that he was afraid she might have taken it the wrong way.

"Yes, but I think I will stay here. Ron and I haven't exactly been getting along lately." He said sadly. She looked up and gave him a rueful smile.

"It's amazing the difference between how much you guys have grown up. He's still a child, and you're quickly becoming an adult." She said meaning every word. He perked up slightly at her compliment.

"How are things with you and Draco?" She asked kindly. He actually smiled at this.

"He called me an irresistible incompetent gryffindor." He said sounding pleased at the insult. She chuckled.

"Coming from Draco that is practically the highest form of compliment. Has he made a move yet?" She asked knowing if he hadn't yet, he would definitely do so soon. Harry blushed, but shook his head.

"No, we were studying for the potions final together, and he was flirting though, so definitely progress." He said, not at all dissuaded by the slow moving baby steps they were taking. If he was one thing, it was determined.

She practiced her meditation without much success when she was in the safety of her bed. She knew her life depending on it, but she just couldn't stop thinking. She groaned realizing there was a theme with the intrusive thoughts. Snape's magic tingling under her skin, Snape's thick robes, Snape's long fingers clasped around her hands.

She flopped back on the bed giving up knowing Snape would not be pleased with her lack of promise. She was always the first one to conquer any spells, or a new potion. Always, as in without fail, and here she was unable to do a simple thing as stop thinking.

The next few days dragged on desperately slow and she had to wait to her next potion class to be assigned another detention since she hadn't seen professor Snape since their meeting.

When it was finally potion class, she knew by the loud bang he made when entering the room that a detention wouldn't be such a difficult thing to get considering the furious state the potions professor was in. He didn't bother lecturing them or anything, he simply waved his hand at the board letting instructions appear.

"Start." He barked at them, sitting down without another word. The class jumped into action, but she took her precious time trying to find a way to get a detention with him. She probably should head discretion and be good considering his mood, but she also couldn't help the strange desire to have his magic under her skin again.

"Do you know what the third line reads?" Harry whispered trying to squint in the fumes that were quickly filling up the room as the class attempted an amortentia potion, something they should have no issues with since it's basic components were easy, but a potion that they would undeniably fail because of it's specific instructions.

"You grind three liverwort together and mix it with the unicorn hairs before adding it." She said unable to read the board, but knowing the properties of the two ingredients by heart. Harry groaned.

"I already added the liverwort." He mumbled dejectedly. She gave him a sympathetic smile and mixed her two ingredients together correctly. She stole a glance at the potions professor, noting that everyone else was too scared to do so. He was leaning over his desk with his hands in his hair and looked completely stressed out. She frowned trying to think of what could cause such a reaction in the potions professor. He could have been called last night, but would it still be bothering it so much today? Surely he couldn't crumble everytime he was called away, the slytherins in the class would catch on and get it back to Voldemort for sure.

She reached for the vial of powdered moonstone, but in her distracted state her fingers missed the glass bottle and it fell to the stone floor, shattering into a thousand tiny pieces. Everyone in the room turned to her instantaneously, their own potions forgotten in their horror of the scene they knew was going to unfold. No one dropped something when the potions professor was in this bad of a mood. No one. Snape was by her desk in an instance, his weakness from earlier gone from his face and replaced by cold fury that made her cringe back in fear.

She gulped wondering if her untimely end would be sooner than she thought.

Teaser: She didn't know how to handle what he had told her. She had idealized him as the hero of the wizarding world, but she had never expected this to be part of his saving the wizarding world. She brushed the hair out of his face and met his dark troubled eyes with how own brown ones.

"It will be okay."


	5. Chapter 5: Entwined

Again thanks to my reviewers, It thrills me to know you are enjoying this crazy ride :) Things are developing between Severus and Hermione, but eavesdropping revels not all is perfect in the background, and a confession throws her for a loop. What will keep her grounded through the chaos?

"You idiotic fool. Do you know how much that vial is worth." He spat at her, the dark circles under his eyes making him look very much like a vampire in his anger. She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She could feel his power tingling around her, and she took a deep breath realizing he wasn't really angry with her, but was putting a show.

"It was an accident." She said making sure she sounded properly distraught. He leaned in and dropped his voice, but the entire room still heard his every word.

"Detention every night this week starting tonight at 8pm. If you are one minute late, I will guarantee the headmaster will expel you." He said dangerously, and she nodded empathetically.

"Yes sir." She squeaked out, as if honestly frightened.

She could still feel his magic soothing her gently, almost as if he was doing it absentmindedly. She couldn't help but wonder if he even realized he was doing it.

He growled fiercely, but then vanished her potion.

"A zero for the day." He snapped, and swept away leaving her looking down at her empty cauldron in despair. She wasn't sure if he was planning on really giving her a zero or not, but either way, the thought that everyone knew she was getting a zero was horrifying.

The class filed out quickly after he dismissed everyone with the exception of her.

"You okay?" Harry asked her, glancing up at a still angry Snape. She nodded not sure if she really would be or not. He nodded unsurely and left her to her fate.

When they were the only ones left in the room Snape finally looked up from a paper he had been grading, and waved his wand at the door shutting and warding it. He fixed her with an icy glare that made her gulp.

"Next time, don't get a detention with such an expensive ingredient, or you really will be scrubbing cauldrons. A simple mistake or outburst would do just fine." He snapped irritably. She let out a sigh of relief, and got up grabbing her bag to join him at the desk.

"I'm sorry, I'll be more mindful sir." She said pausing at Draco's potion which was right in front of Snape's desk, and hadn't been fully cleaned out of the cauldron. The blond felt entitled to everything, so this in itself was unsurprising, but the smell drifting from the cauldron was enticing.

"What are you doing?" He asked. She glanced up to see him glaring at her, but she couldn't help but lean down and smell the delicious scent. She couldn't place it, but it was amazing and sent a warmth through her that made her blush. She tore herself away from the potion unwillingly and stood in front of his desk awaiting the lecture she was sure to come for her foolishness.

"Smell anything you like?" He asked raising an eyebrow to her, ignoring the detention they were supposed to be discussing. She smiled relaxedly feeling a little silly from the after effects that were slowly draining.

"Maybe. I bet it's torture being in here all day with this stuff." She remarked leaning against one of the desks behind her. He shrugged watching her intently.

"I've had worse." He said.

"When is the detention?" She asked getting back to the subject at hand. He rolled his eyes.

"At 8pm of course. I only had you stay behind to make it seem realistic." He said sounding slightly less cold than before. She hummed appreciatively feeling rather content with just speaking with him like a normal person, and not as a student and teacher. It made her less weary of the discovery that the potion smelled of his cologne that she had smelled on him last time they were together.

"You were stressed out earlier." She stated wondering what had caused him to become so tense. He still looked like he hadn't slept at all last night, but he had relaxed slightly and she wondered if he had gotten a good whiff of the potion when he had stalked up to her to yell at her earlier.

"I had some unexpected complications arise from some of my duties to Voldemort." He said easily, fidgeting with a red quill that she was sure was from Fawkes.

"RIght, Harry will probably be wondering where I am." She said realizing he usually only took a few minutes to give out detentions.

"You know, it would be easier if you told him the truth." Snape said in what could almost have been misconstrued as a patient tone. She shook her head at the idea.

"No, that would mean telling him that his only real friend he has ever had very well could die at any time. It would destroy him, especially after losing Siris. The very thought of losing me would send him into a tailspin. He is already in a fragile enough place, I am not going to be the one to destroy him."Snape frowned deeply at this.

"Mr. Wesely?" He asked surprised they had a falling out and it hadn't gotten around in the gossip mills to him yet. Hermione shook her head.

"He has yet to grow up." She said not wanting to get into the whole situation with Snape since he hardly cared anyways.

"We will stay with the current plan then, I will see you at 8pm." He ordered her, handing her a stack of papers he had yet to grade and one of the red quills. She took the stack hesitantly, unsure of what he intended for her to do.

"You agreed to do some grading in exchange for the lessons remember?" He asked with a small amount of amusement at her shock. She lit up at this realizing he actually trusted her with the grading of his students essays; something he took very seriously considering the importance of the students actually knowing the subjects before trying to make the potion.

"Thank you Professor." She glowed putting the papers in her bag, but keeping ahold of the quill for fear of breaking it. He nodded curtly to her.

"It's Severus while we are alone. I venture that we will be spending a lot of time together trying to cure you." He said without any coldness. She smiled at him bouncing on her heels.

"Okay then, Severus." She said relishing how the word sounded on her tongue. He dismissed her with a wave of his hand and she bounded out pleased by the turn of events.

She had never thought herself interested in older men, but the more time she spent with him, the more she realized the tantalizing appeal of someone who could actually take control of a room. Ron seemed to rather let the room control him, and his emotions, since he didn't have any control whatsoever of himself. Severus was reserved, but was definitely intelligent and knew it.  
Maybe his cockiness was one of the things she found attractive about him.

Her detentions thus far that week had been unsuccessful, and she was starting to become depressed by the lack of progress. No matter what he did, or how comfortable they were, she just couldn't get her magical shield to drop.

It was with a heavy heart that she made her way for her last detention of the week. When she knocked at the door, her knock went unanswered. That was very strange to her since he had yet to bail on their detentions, so she opened the door hesitantly, ready to avoid any curses that could be thrown her way by a pissed off potions professor. None came so she entered the room and saw it was empty. She sighed hoping he hadn't forgotten her detention and sat down in the chair opposite his desk waiting for his return.

She tapped her fingers impatiently on his desk and leaned on her elbows realizing when her stomach started growling loudly that she had yet to eat. She probably should of done that, but she found herself strangely numb to her normal hunger pains until she had been without food for extended periods of time, in her case since seven AM. She took out the grading she had gotten done before she had come here, and put the stack on his desk.

The papers were covered in the red ink, with various insults that the quill had magically changed all of her encouraging comments too. By the fifth essay, and the foolish student suggesting substituting a crocodile heart for cat hair in a blood replenishing potion, she had to agree with the insulting quill.

She looked up to a slightly ajar door that she hadn't noticed before and her ears piqued in interest having heard the distant echoes of a conversation. Whatever Severus was doing, he was doing it beyond the door that she anticipated led to his quarters.

She should just sit there like a good student and kept her nose in her own business, but her curiosity to see what was so important overwon her sensibilities and she took out her wand whispering an amplification spell. Immediately his voice came to life in her ears and she could just make out what he was saying.

"You should be in hiding. It was foolish of you to come out from hiding, you know he will kill you if he finds out." Snape said. She could hear his anger even through the amplification spell.

"He wont find out, and I had to get some money for groceries, you know I have to eat enough for two now." A girl's voice pouted. Hermione visibly started at this. Why on earth was he talking to a pregnant women?

"Yes, but I have the house elves bring you food every meal, and give you more than enough money to spend on whatever frivolities you fancy from the catalogues." He snapped irritably.

"Fine, I admit, I was just bored, but.."

"But nothing Teresa. I will not have you putting yourself or the child in danger, you will either stay in the safe house, or I will ward you in. It's your choice." She cringed at the anger in his voice. The women was not so easily dissuaded.

"I hate being in that house. I will go insane if I have to look at the walls for one more day." She complained sounding all at once like a grown woman, and still a child. Hermione frowned trying to find a reason he would be giving her orders about her baby's safety.

"As soon as the baby is out, you will be free to do as you please, but until then, you need to remember it's not just your life at stake." He ground out, sounding slightly less angry as if he cared about her mental state. He obviously cared something for her if he was actually moved by her whining.

"That's two months away." She reminded him sullenly. She heard him sigh dramatically.

"Just pray it comes early." He said. There was a pause in which no one said anything.

"Sometimes I really hate you. This is all your fault, but you get to be here seeing people all day, all I get is to be stuck in the same old house with my husband who wont even look at me anymore. Sometimes I'm so mad I just might.."

"What turn me in?" He asked cutting her off fiercely.

"I would take any amount of time in Azkaban if I could have one day without having to live with the guilt of knowing what I did to you." He snapped at the women coldly.

"Severus, I didn't mean.." She started trying to backtrack.

"I knew exactly what you meant. Do what you need to Teresa, I have a detention to oversee." He responded, his voice rippling with an icy edge that ended all arguments from the women. She heard a floo roar in a fireplace, and his steps approaching the door so she hastily canceled the spell.

When he came in, he looked shocked to see her there.

"I tried to knock." She said in explanation for her presence in his office. He shook his head and sat down in his chair looking worse for wear.

"I assumed you would have left already. Nevermind it, you are here and we have much to do." He said sounding surprisingly ungraceful with how the words tumbled out of his mouth. He made no move to start their lesson. She bit her lip unsure of what to do, but knowing exactly what it felt like to feel alone, and not be able to share your burden with anyone.

"I wouldn't mind hearing about what is bothering you." She said nervously. He gave her a light glare as if he simply didn't have the energy to do more than that.

"You know I cannot tell you, but the concern is not unappreciated." He said emotionlessly. She got up and went around his desk feeling especially bold. She sat on the edge of his desk and held her hands out.

"I want to try something new. When you were trying to get into my core, if wasn't working, but if I were to try to enter your core, it would by reflex open the channel into my shield."

He observed her with a frown thinking her idea over.

"No nosing around." He said forcefully, but took the offered hands into his own. She smiled and closed her eyes focusing on pushing her magic out to meet his. She inhaled deeply relaxing at the comforting scent of potions ingredients that surrounded him, including peppermint from the angels trumpet draught they had been making in class.

She felt her tension easing, and she relaxed even when she had started to tip over. She heard him mumble something to her, and felt herself being leant against something soft, but she didn't care. She had felt her magic finally giving way and traveling through the contact she had with Severus. Her magic traveled into him, along side his darker magic. The two forces seemed to even each other out in the strangest of ways, so when he slipped in through the cracks in her defenses, she welcomed the intrusion. It was as if all her life she had been in a constant nagging pain that she she never realized she was in until that very moment when it was finally relieved.

When he slipped into her core, for a few brief moments it wasn't her magic and his magic anymore, their magic was one. It should've been awkward or uncomfortable, but it wasn't. Instead it felt like the most natural thing in the world. She was in awe of his power that was so restrained compared to her more chaotic magic. She had always assumed that no one came close to the power that the headmaster held, but feeling the smooth wash of energy he created while trying to force the tainted energy out made her rethink this notion.

She could feel him trying to push the energy out of her, but it was to no avail. Even with their magic entwined, and him focusing her magic to help him, the energy still remained stubbornly inside her as if concreated into the center of her core.

She didn't know how long they had stayed entwined together, with him gently focusing her magic. If felt as if he was smoothing it out along the edges, and giving it a way to channel that before had been just a wide open plane. She could feel the slightest of shifts in his magic that were caused by his changing emotions, and she could tell he was feeling a high similar to hers, even with his attempts at focusing their energies. She tried to help him with pushing out the tainted energy, but he stopped her and took control letting her fall back. The women activist in her would have been offended, if she could not feel the protectiveness he felt.

He slowly drew back when his magical reserves started draining. It would be disastrous if their magic was entwined like that and he lost control of the situation, so she felt his dark threads of magic slip out from insider her own.

She leaned over in pain when the last of his magic left her, clutching her chest gasping for air.

"Ms. Granger?" He asked worriedly, his breath tickling her ear from how close he was. She took a few steadying breaths, and relaxed as her body became used to the pain that had been with her throughout her whole life.

"I'm fine." She said. She wasn't so sure of this, but the pain receded to an ache that was bearable, but she had a feeling it would be a constant pain now now that she knew what it wa slike to be without it. She focused on her surroundings and realized with a blush that she was on her professors lap. She vaguely remembered being moved, but hadn't realized he had moved her onto him. His dark eyes met her brown ones, and she could see confusion in them. Could it be possible that he felt the same ache as she did now? If there magic complimented each other, then surely his departure would have been just as painful for him as for her?

"You okay?" She asked not wanting to get up for some strange reason, not feeling the slightest bit of repulsion at their contact. He gave her a curt nod that was hardly convincing. When he shifted, she felt his fingers brush against her back where there was a small amount of exposed skin from her shirt having come up a bit. She realized they hadn't been holding hands, but he had his arms lightly around her waist with one hand touching her lower back in an almost intimate way.  
"I should go, you're drained so we won't get much done today." She said softly not making a move to leave. He hummed, his dark eyes glazing over her lips as if tempted to kiss her. She reached up to touch his hair, but hesitated looking into his dark eyes, asking for confirmation before touching him. He rubbed his rough thumb across her in silent permission, so she brushed her fingers over his soft hair. It was not at all greasy, but was actually fine and felt like silk from the protective oils in it. She hadn't realized how dry her hair actually was until she felt how soft hair could be, and she found herself envying his dark hair.

"It's soft." She commented, noticing the darkness in his eyes that seemed to have warmth in them for once.

"Of course it is, I am a potions master after all, surely you realize I can create a sufficient moisturizing draught for hair." He replied. She smiled, but he removed his arms from around her in silent dismissal. She let her hand fall away and stood up as gracefully as one could after having just entwined your magic with someone's, even if only temporarily. He stood up towering over her as usual, but he grazed a hand over her arm, ruining any chance of having an intimidating effect on her. She felt herself shiver at the feel of his rough hands across her soft skin.

"I think if we work on it, it will work. It will take time, but it is possible." He said tonelessly. She nodded feeling her ache lessen slightly knowing they would be doing that again, and that he hadn't given up hope on her.

"You say that as if you didn't think it was possible in the first place." She said frowning. A strange emotion passed over his face, just the briefest of seconds that she couldn't quite place.

"I didn't."

She got back to the common room late and in such a daze that she almost completely walked past Harry, who had jumped up at her entrance.

"How'd it go?" He asked frowning. She grimaced when she did a quick tempus.

"It was fine, I was doing some cleaning and I just got carried away is all." She lied sitting on one of the red armchairs feeling drained.

"You look pale. Have you eaten?" He asked bringing her a tray of food before she could answer, that had ordered obviously having noticed her lack of presence at meal times. She shrugged despite the delicious array of dinner entrees that were being held under a warming spell.

"I'm not hungry." She said having lost her appetite already despite not having eaten all day. Harry sat the tray down with a sigh and came to sit on the arm of the chair, looking down at her with a deep frown.

"Hermione, you are dwindling away. I know girls always want to make sure they are skinny and all that, but this is ridiculous." He said firmly lecturing her. It took her a few seconds to snap out of her daze and comprehend what he was saying.

"Harry, I'm just not hungry. I'm stressed, that's all. I'm not starving myself to be skinny." She said smiling at the silly boy. He didn't seem convinced, but let the subject drop.

"The headmaster sent me a note asking me to meet him." He said looking into the fire looking troubled by something. She sat up a bit straighter.

"What's wrong?" She asked. He hesitated before answering trying to figure out what to say.

"It seems that destroying Voldemort will be more difficult than I expected. There are theses things called horcruxes, and they contain pieces of his soul. All of them will have to be killed if we are to defeat him. Riddle's diary was one of them, and Dumbledore has some ideas for the rest, but he's not sure exactly what they are. I will have to help him find them and destroy them, or Voldemort will literally be immortal." He said solemnly, the normal light demeanor he had completely gone. She closed her eyes knowing what this would mean for him.

More risking his life, more risking getting permanently injured, more feeling isolated from the normal teenager experience. It could go wrong in so many ways. She looked up at him knowing she had to be strong for him, even if she wanted to cry about how unfair it was that everything always seemed to happen to him.

She didn't know how to handle what he had told her. She had idealized him as the hero of the wizarding world, but she had never expected this to be part of his saving the wizarding world. She brushed the hair out of his face and met his dark troubled eyes with her own brown ones.

"It will be okay." She said, not sure if she even believed herself. He gave her a rue smile.

"Well, at least he said it would just be the two of us hunting the,, so I don't have to worry about you getting injured." He said trying to lighten the mood. She swallowed thickly and tried to smile.

"Right, at least there's that."

Teaser- She watched Professor Snape...no Severus, teach the class. He moved with grace and an expertise that she could only hope she would have one day. He glanced at her while lecturing on the uses of frog legs in fire protection potion, and she noticed his tone change pitch ever so slightly as if seeing her did something to him. She groaned and let her head hit the table. She was hopeless.


	6. Chapter 6: Prepositions

Thank you to my amazing reviewers, you inspire me to sit down and focus on writing, so keep the reviews coming in! In this chapter, potions class gets a little out of hand and things start to get a little more steamy between the pair.

Enjoy!

She fell into an unsteady rhythm with her classes and tried valiantly not to fall behind despite the fact that the symptoms from her poisoning were becoming more intrusive. Randomly she would get dizzy spells, and she had to sit out more than one defense class. Rasmus was teaching it, so he was kind about it, but it was losing her practice time that she desperately needed.

She stepped on the scale crossing her fingers that it would show something different, but the number had gone down and she felt her heart drop. She had been getting detentions with Severus as often as she could without becoming suspicious, but he was being called away frequently so it was becoming next to impossible to get any time alone with him.

When they were practicing together, it was something other worldly. His magic now followed uninhibited though her as soon as they were in contact with one another, and sometimes even when they weren't touching. Every time they joined together, it became harder to draw apart. The distinction between her magic and his was becoming blurrier and she felt sometimes like even after they drew apart that he was still with her. A residual bond was forming, she was sure of it.

She got ready for class putting on her white button up and plaid skirt. It was freezing so she put on the thickest wool robes she had, not bothering to attempt to wear the thin school robes. She found it difficult to stay warm anyways, let alone in the frigid dungeons she was heading too.

She met up with Harry outside class. By the time she got there she was out of breath from the long walk, so she leaned up against the wall listening to his and Draco's conversation.

"You are a dim witted idiot Potter if you think an equal society is really fair." The blond said smoothly, folding his arms in challenge. Harry glared at the slytherin without any real malice.

"I think you would have to be the dimwitted one if you really think you're better than Hermione at anything. Blood doesn't mean anything." He snapped back barely refraining from grinning. They had taken to throwing insults at each other with increasing velocity. She shook her head at their round about way of flirting. No one even suspected either boy wasn't straight, but surely their almost playful arguments would clue the students in on the boys feelings at some point, right?

Severus interrupted her thoughts by banging the classroom door open.

"Inside." He ordered the mess of students coldly. They filed in silently, their light conversation falling short when they passed by the intimidating man to enter the class. She felt her breath hitch when she passed him, and she met his eyes for the briefest of seconds. He gave her a small nod that no one else would have caught and she felt her spirits soar. He would be free tonight. Time to earn herself a detention.

Their battle in the classroom had earned the attention of the students in the school, and by effect Voldemort. She had started to enjoy her opportunity to cause trouble, as opposed to being nervous about like she at first was. It gave her a rush to actually break the rules, and challenge a professor knowing she would get away with it. Severus had mentioned to her that her last rule break had been the topic of conversation in the Professor's lounge. She had a few people who were certain she had lost her mind for taking on the most intimidating professor (Professor Flitwick and Madame Hooch), and also a few Professors that admired her gull ( Professor Mcgonagall and Professor Lupin).

She watched Professor Snape...no Severus, teach the class. He moved with grace and an expertise that she could only hope she would have one day. He glanced at her while lecturing on the uses of frog legs in fire protection potion, and she noticed his tone change pitch ever so slightly as if seeing her did something to him. She groaned and let her head hit the table. She was hopeless.

She tried to focus on her next plan for causing trouble and ignore the desire to reach out with her magic to him. She had slowly been developing more control of her magic, and she knew she could do it if she really focused. It would an intrusion though so she refrained. Barely.

Her opportunity to earn a detention came when he asked if anyone had any questions. She smirked inside and put up her hand taking the bait. She could have sworn she heard Harry groan having figured out her plan to disrupt the potions class as much as possible, even if it meant getting a detention. She had spun some story to him about Severus being a complete jerk to her in her first detention. He didn't believe her, but knew better than to push the issue knowing if it is bad enough for Hermione to be willingly getting detentions that something bad must have happened.

"Yes Miss. Granger." He drawled boredly. She put her hand down and smiled sweetly at him when the whole class spun around to see what she would do this time.

"Professor, you said that if we were to use this potion, it would stop us from being burn when we walked through fire. Is that correct?" She said primly.

"That would be the general premise of a fire protection potion, yes." He sneered sarcastically. She hummed thoughtfully.

"Sir, I was doing some reasearch and found some very interesting information on this potion." She stated. He rolled his eyes.

"Imagine that, the know-it-all of the castle researching." He said earning himself some chuckles from the slytherins in the class. She continued as if he hadn't made the comment.

"If you replace the frog legs with pine oil, it alters the properties of the potion and it would create a potion that would look exactly the same, but make the person attract fire, would it not?" She asked innocently. He stalked up to her menacingly glowering down at her. The class held it's breath waiting for his reaction to what could be misconstrued as a threat.

"Point being?" He asked harshly. She tapped her quill to her chin thoughtfully.

"Sir, I was just thinking that it could be infused into the drinks of people with the dark mark. I think that would be a suitable punishment don't you? I would say either that, or perhaps an impotence potion. I think that would serve them right." She said seriously. Several students burst out in laughter, all of which were slytherins since they knew exactly why she would be suggesting her ideas to him. He glared at them with an in ice that made them stifle their laughter. He turned back to her and vanished her potion with a flourish.

"That was a perfect resting draught." She complained.

"Ten points for inappropriate comments and disrupting the class." He snapped, his face cold as always. He started to walk away without assigning detention so she decided to up the ante.

"What? I thought it was a good idea. For a group of people who hate muggle borns they certainly have an affinity for them. I heard that Malfoy's father had sired three children with muggleborns, and even one with a centaur." She said seriously ignoring the fury on his face, or the way he was back in front of her, leaning over her again daring her to continue. Which she did of course.

"You know...if they want a muggleborn so much, I'd be happy to set them up, they only need have asked. There's not need to start a war over this. It would cost a price sure, but considering how fascinated they are by us muggle born's, I'm sure they would pay it. Wouldn't you?" She asked sweetly prepositioning her teacher. He snatched her arm roughly elicited a pained owe from her, but he dragged her out forcefully.

"That's it, to the headmaster with you. If he doesn't expel you for that comment, I bet you will have detention for the rest of your stay here you foolish child." He practically yelled dragging her out and slamming the door behind them. He waited until they were a safe distance from the classroom before releasing her. She rubbed her arm wincing at the sensitive area.

"You know, you could have simply assigned me a detention at the beginning of my little tirade." She said casting a muffalto. He glanced at her not breaking stride.

"Yes, well they wanted a show, they got one. It saves time anyways, your little friend will be suspicious if you keep acting out in class, it is easier to get it all done at once." He said absently going from completely furious, to relaxed and almost amenable in record time. She felt she was a decent actor, but he was bloody brilliant and very convincing. She had on more than one occasion reached out to him magically just to make sure he wasn't really mad at her.

"He was started to get suspicious." She accented. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I know. I can do legilimency, remember?" He taunted lightly. She shook her head. She frowned when she realized they really where going to the headmasters office.

"We are really going to the headmaster's office? I thought you were just putting on a show." She said starting to feel a bit nervous.

"Yes, well he requested my presence anyways. I have some...things to sort out." He said evasively. She tried to relax and trust his word, but she still found herself biting her nail by the time they got to the headmaster's door. He knocked harshly and reached out to her, taking her hand away from her mouth.

"You have so little trust in me." He said holding her hand for the briefest of seconds before letting go.

"Enter." The headmaster called cutting through the rush of feelings his casual touch had caused.

Severus entered first taking the seat directly opposite of the headmaster, taking down her muffalto with a wave of his wand. She sat down in the chair next to him nervously not sure what exactly this meeting was about. The headmaster smiled kindly at her and offered her a lemon drop that she refused. Her eyes went wide when Severus took a whole handful of them and sat back in the chair languidly as if finally able to relax.

Even when they were alone together he had always held some amount of formality, but right now he was relaxed and oh so tempting. As if he read her thoughts (which he probably did) he looked over at her and gave her an amused look and offered her one of the drops that he had taken.

"It has a relaxing serum in it. My own invention." He said. She looked to the headmaster in shock that he tried to dose up everyone who visited him. He chuckled merrily, his blue eyes twinkling.

"It's a mild serum, it only lasts a few minutes. Coming to see the headmaster is very rarely a good thing, so students are usually very tense. It's especially useful for first years." He said genuinely. She took the lemon drop from Severus offering him a quick 'thanks' and looking up at him when their fingers touch. He had felt the pull of their magic trying to entwine together too judging by the dark look that came back over his relaxed features.

"I heard about your little display today Ms. Granger." The headmaster said drawing her attention away from the man beside her.

"Yes, well Professor Snape made me do it." She said defensively surprised that news would travel that fast. They had only just left the room. She popped the lemon drop feeling a small, but noticeable relaxing sensation course through her as soon as the drop touched her tongue.

"You haven't told Harry yet about your condition?" He asked without judgement. She nodded taking another lemon drop.

"Yes, I think he has enough on his plate right now." She said glancing towards Severus, not sure if he knew about the horcruxes yet.

"I agree. I think that's a wise decision for right now." The headmaster responded. Severus snorted at this unwrapping another lemon drop.

"Of course you would approve, you always approve of lying and manipulating." Severus said with humor. The headmaster didn't seem to take any offence at this.

"You're hardly honest yourself. If I'm not mistaken you do a fair share of lying in your position too." He retorted lightly. Severus shrugged popping the lemon drop he had finally freed from the wrapper, only to grab the next from the giant bowl. She noticed his movements slightly less controlled than normal and wondered how many he would eat in one sitting.

"Perhaps."

"How is Teresa?" The headmaster asked. Hermione sat up straighter at the mention of the mysterious women he had been speaking with several weeks ago. Severus shrugged.

"She has listened and stayed in hiding so far. I highly doubt she will continue to do so." He said emotionlessly. The mood of the room itself seemed to have sobered with the mention of Teresa, and Hermione wondered why the two men were so interested in her safety. There were thousands of muggle borns at risk right now, what was so special about this one?

"I'm sorry Sev. I…"

"It's fine." Severus said cutting across the older man's apologies with a cold glare, his relaxed stance gone. The headmaster looked at him gravely over his spectacles, but after a moment nodded.

"Do you have any plans for afterwards?" The headmaster asked. Severus paused in the middle of opening one of his many lemon drops, and she could feel a stab of pain that flowed through their connection.

"I cannot afford to become attached to it." He said evenly, but she knew he was masking the pain the subject brought for him. The dots connected quickly in her mind, and as soon as they did, she wished it hadn't clicked with her. Her mind went back to his comment about some 'complications' arising from his service to Voldemort. He had raped the girl and had found out she was carrying his child. Both of them were now in danger of being killed by Voldemort. The dark lord was not so foolish as to let definitive evidence of one of his most trusted severts deeds just sitting around. If he found out about them he would kill them immediately and brutally.

A lesser man would have just put them in hiding and said he had done everything that could be done for them. He had kept in contact with them even though it obviously caused him pain. He had made sure they were taken care of. To regret something was difficult enough, but to face your transgressions on a daily basis was its own form of torture.

"Severus, you are only human. You cannot devoid yourself of any meaningful relationships in life to protect yourself from pain." The headmaster said gently. Severus's black eyes flashed in anger at this.

"I do not push people away for my own sake. To love and lost is better than to never loved at all. I do it for their sake. I do not wish a death at the hands of a sadistic dark lord to anybody." He spat back. The headmaster sighed and offered him some more lemon drops. Severus glared at the old man for a moment more, but then took a nice big handful of the drops.

"I should probably be getting you back before the entire school thinks I really have got you expelled." Severus said seeming to have just remembered her presence. She nodded standing up unsteadily, the blood rushing to her head and causing her to sway on her feet. Severus was by her side in an instance ,and held her up while she regained her bearings.

"We really need to find a way to fix you." Severus said tiredly.

"I assume nothing you guys have tried so far has worked?" The headmaster asked. She shook her head and leaned into Severus's embrace more for comfort than actual need for support. He looked down at her darkly, but didn't protest.

"It's a work in progress." She said dryly. The headmaster nodded and waved them off.

"Let me know if you need anything." He said unhelpfully.

Severus held onto her until they reached the hallway, releasing her with a slight shove since there was a second year walking past.

"Remember, your next detention is at 8am Saturday." He sniped at her, then stalked off before she could say anything else. She sighed and headed down for dinner knowing there was nothing else to do for it.

She sat on the edge of the frozen lake with her knees drawn up to her chest thinking everything over. She had gotten up at six this morning, ready for her detention with Severus hours before it was scheduled to start. She had walked around the common room for a few minutes before deciding to come out here and getting some fresh air. This was the only detention before the holidays, but it would be an all day detention. She didn't know what he had planned for the day considering he usually wore out his magical energy within an hour of their session starting.

She rubbed her head thinking over the information she had gathered from their meeting with the headmaster. He had been ignoring her almost completely for the last few days, and she had to assume it was because of that. To know you would soon have a life completely reliant upon you (the babys mother seemed to not care too much for the idea of sticking around), would be a terrifying thought. He knew that even in the best of situations there was a high chance of him being unsuccessful of keeping the innocent baby out of this mess.

She closed her eyes and felt through the strange connection they had developed from having their magical cores constantly intertwined. She could feel echoes of pain, the sensation muted by their distance and her clumsiness at manipulating her magic. She took a deep breath of the cold air wishing there was more that she could do. She imagined that he must feel something similar about her situation. Their attempts at getting the excess magic out of her system had been useless.

She now had almost constant headaches, and would try to cast a spell, only to find whatever she was pointing her wand at to blow up. A rather unpleasant experience. She felt like she might as well have an expiration date stamped into the bottom of her foot. Her death was coming like a runaway freight train and there was nothing that she could do to stop it.

She stood up and brushed the snow off her robes to head out for her detention unsure of what to expect. Would he have her spend the whole day grading papers? She knew he had to be falling behind on his grading, even with what she helped him with throughout the week.

She knocked on his door nervously, entering when he called 'come in' through the thick door.

He was sitting behind his desk, but wasn't working on grading like she expected, but eating a bunch of the lemon drops. She sat down on her customary chair unsure of what she was supposed to be doing. His dark eyes followed her carefully.

"What are we doing today sir?" She asked. She shifted under his dark gaze, glad when he popped the last of the lemon drops and leaned back in the chair.

"We are going to be doing the same thing we've been doing for all our meetings." He said plainly motioning for her to come join him, finally breaking his silence. She nodded and walked to the other side of his desk as usual and sat on the edge holding her hands out eagerly. She had become addicted to his power in the strangest of ways. She craved it like a drug addict craved their next hit, so she wasn't surprised when her hands shook slightly in relief when he took her hands in his.

"I think it would make more sense if you come sit with me. It's certainly easier than trying to focus on controlling your magic, and making sure you don't fall over." He said with a hint of a smile at the corner of his thin lips. She smiled relieved he was relaxing. She let go of his hands and slid into his lap settling against him feeling a rush of pleasure when he wrapped his arms around her.

"Close your eyes, you know you can't focus with your eyes open." He said, his deep voice sending shivers down her back.

"As opposed to you?" She retorted still closing her eyes. He slid a hand gently under her shirt, his rough fingers tickling the sensitive skin.

"Yes actually." He said.

She felt the rush of his magic dancing under his skin and could feel him taking charge of her own magic. She sighed relaxing. She felt incredibly weak by giving up power so easily, but also slightly empowered by the fact that he was tender to her in a way that suggested she indeed was the one in powe,r because he would draw back if she requested it.

She tried to open her eyes to see if she could multi task since he was the one in control and found that after a little focusing on her side she could open her eyes. He was looking down at her in shock that she had actually managed it. She could still feel their magic intertwined together completely and fully, but she could also see his strong jaw line and feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

"See I can focus." She said with a smirk. He didn't comment, but watched her with interest.

She reached up and ran her hand along his face causing a rush of sensations that coursed freely between them through the connection. He still had an impassive face, but there was no denying what he felt when she touched him. She leaned forward unable to resist temptation anymore with the symphony of wonderful feelings coursing through her system. She felt him thread his hand through her hair and she assumed he was going to stop her, but he pulled her gently down, so their lips met at last.

Weeks of wanting more contact had finally come to a climax and she had exactly what she had wanted. Him relaxing with her in his embrace.  
He kissed her hungrily as if his life depended on it. She moaned against his lips, and was only too pleased when he deepened the kiss without invitation, and pulled her body up against him. It was as if nothing else mattered, and all he needed was for her to be here with him.

The last of her reservation left her and she felt herself melt into the possessive kiss. She couldn't get enough contact with him so she unbuttoned his shirt with a wandless spell, not even realizing that she should be more nervous about what she had done. Her hands explored his toned muscles while her magic freely tangled itself in with his. His smooth magic eagerly took her up on the offer and she knew there was no going back. She couldn't pull herself out of him even if she wanted too.

Their kiss heated up quickly with the overwhelming rush that being connected in such a full way caused. He had his hands up her shirt gently caressing her skin. She turned so she was straddling him to give him as much access as possible. He ripped the shirt open not bothering with magic, sending the buttons flying. She didn't care moaning openly when his hands went places where no man's had before.

She could feel him harden beneath her and didn't need his very pleased magic coursing through her to know he was enjoying himself. Her hair fell forward with the angle so she pulled back to fix it, but he gave her a very dark and lust filled look and pulled her back into the kiss.

She had kissed Ron before, but she had never felt such pleasure from it. She had assumed it was supposed to just be a sign of affection, but this...this was creating a hot need inside her that she wasn't sure if she could refuse.

She shifted and heard him moan a deep and needy moan that made her do it again. He had eaten had too many lemon drops, she was sure of it. There was no way he would be doing this if he hadn't but she wasn't going to be the voice of reason. She wrapped her hands in his silky hair, realizing he wasn't the only one who was feeling possessive. She had at some point decided that he was hers, and that thought is what caused her to not feel shy at all about shedding the already open white shirt off of him.

His tongue danced in her mouth expertly, knowing exactly what to do to make her move slowly against him desperate for release, but not sure exactly how far she could push him.

Her hand traveled down his arms and her right one stopped on the dark mark's deep indents into his otherwise perfect skin. He stiffened and drew back from the kiss out of breath. He started to say something scathing she was sure, but she pulled his arm up and kissed the mark gently and teasingly. The tension eased slowly back out of his body.

He watched her with dangerous eyes as she trailed kisses along the length of the mark taking her time to show how little it affected her. When she had reached the bottom of the mark he pulled her back up into a kiss that was slower and more languid. She heard a faint echo of his thoughts and smiled.

"You're right, we should be doing this, but we have hours to waste." She thought back trailing a hand from his defined pecs, to the button on his black slacks. She had shed most of her clothing, but she felt a heat inside her that kept her from feeling the cold. Her body betrayed her though by shivering, not able to sustain a normal temperature with her weakened state, and the freezing temperature of the dungeons. He pushed her away gently breaking the kiss.

"You're cold." He said rubbing a hand over her arm that now had goosebumps on it. She hummed in displeasure, but got off of him gathering her clothes. When she had shed the coat, she wasn't sure. She magically put her shirt back together avoiding his eyes despite the fact that she could see him watching her every move.

"Your magic is still entwined in mine." He said as if she hadn't noticed. She nodded straightening her newly fixed shirt and looked up at him.

"You can try to separate it if you'd like." She offered with a frown, hoping he didn't take her up on the offer. To her relief he shook his head making his hair fall in his face since she had ruffled it a bit during their kiss.

"I think that could be more dangerous than to leave it as it is. Your magic seems to have balanced itself out with mine, and is reluctant to let go. It would be like throwing a match into a fire by taking away its stability." He said. She leaned against his desk feeling his worry about what this would mean for them. For her. He knew the Dark Lord would find out at some point and she would be killed.

"It would be either die for sure, by you having not cured me, or maybe die if we aren't careful." She said softly. He snorted and pulled her back into his lap.

"Were going to have to find a way to stop you from being able to feel everything I feel." He said gently. She leaned against his chest now warm and content.

"We really do have all day." She said looking up at him taking in the newfound casualness that having kissed brought. While the tension had changed, it was still there and she felt excitement knowing this might actually lead somewhere. He looked down at her darkly considering this.

"I think we should refrain from any more magical exertion today while our systems have time to adjust to the change." He said pushing one of her soft curls behind her ear.

She leaned back so she could see his face which was impassive, but his eyes were a dark brown. She had never realized that when he was happy that they lightened. She supposed his natural eye color was actually brown, but the lack of endorphins in his system had probably darkened his eyes.

"I know about Teresa." She admitted reluctantly. He seemed unsurprised at this. She figured he had probably deduced this during one of their many detentions. He leaned back observing her and playing with her hair absently sending a rush of pleasure through her that she was sure he had felt from the twitch in the corner of his mouth.

"I am usually more careful, there were witnesses, so unfortunately precautions couldn't be taken." He explained obviously knowing that she had connected all of the dots including how the women came into her current state.

"She doesn't want the child?" Hermione asked trailing her hand across his smooth muscle of his chest glad he hadn't gotten dressed.

"Would you?" He said without any judgement for the girl. Hermione couldn't say for sure, but she was pretty confident that any child she had would never leave her sight regardless of it's conception.

"She has a husband. He doesn't want to raise another man's child." He said evenly. She frowned feeling bad for the pain he was feeling. He was the one giving up so much for their cause, but he only received scorn from their side with the exception of the order members who worked here and saw how much he did.

"You are going to raise it then?" She asked. He swallowed thickly, not looking at her. She knew she had touched a sensitive subject by the lack of emotions that flowed through their magic. He was closing off the connection. She could hardly blame him, but it would be useful when they weren't talking about very difficult subjects.

"I try not to think about it, or get my hopes up." He said forcefully. She sighed and leaned against his chest again. She was quiet for a moment unsure of what to say to that. The chance of both him and the child making it through the war was slim.

"Hope is the only thing that keeps me going. I know I will likely die, but hope is what gets me out of bed everyday." She whispered softly. She ran her fingers over his arm that was wrapped around her waist loosely loving how defined he was. Nothing compared to the wirey nature of Ronald.

"If we both made it through, yes I would raise it." He admitted gently. She smiled against his chest thinking of him holding his baby. He was normally so stern, but was obviously capable of caring for others. It would be quite a sight to see.

"Tell me about your family." He said changing the subject. She was thrown off by the rapid change of topic, but she obliged him happily lightening the mood with stories of her accidental magic with clueless muggle parents.

Teaser- Remus's eyes flashed in anger almost the moment she walked in. He could smell Severus's lingering scent on her, and judging by the intensity of his reaction, he was not pleased.

This would be the longest defense class of her life.

What do you think? R&R if you are enjoying this and let me know what you think about the latest revelation!


	7. Chapter 7: Dark Place

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I am actually going back through the previous chapters. I noticed that I had missed several typos, so let me know if you find anything else! This chapter gets a little dark, so you have been warned!

The last week of classes passed excruciatingly slow knowing that soon she would have the castle almost entirely to herself and Severus. It would be far less suspicious for them to spend time together when she didn't have a steady schedule. On Friday she had a free period at the same time as Severus did, so when he caught her attention at breakfast time and nodded to the door, she was only too pleased to meet up with him.

The session went very much as their previous one, and she was headed down contentedly to Defense, meeting up with Harry and Draco with a grin that she hadn't had for a while. Harry gave her a strange look.

"What's got you so happy?" He asked smiling even with his confusion. She shrugged nonchalantly.

"I guess I'm just in the Christmas spirit today is all." She said knowing by the look Draco had given her that he had deduced what had her pleased, even if he didn't know who.

"I guess that's what you girls call it nowadays." He said mockingly raising a thin eyebrow at her.

"That's what they call what?" Harry asked looking back and forth between them, not catching on even when she ducked her head and blushed.

"Nothing." They said in unison not willing to ruin his innocent perception of the world.

The door opened at eleven on the dot and the class filed into Remus's class, the discussions tapering off.

Remus's eyes flashed in anger almost the moment she walked in. He could smell Severus's lingering scent on her, and judging by the intensity of his reaction, he was not pleased.

This would be the longest defense class of her life.  
She kept her head down and tried to ignore the fact that she caught him growling at her several times. When the bell rang, she didn't even bother rushing to pack up her things.

"Hermione, a word if you don't mind." He said with an ice that had the class talking, and Harry looking worried. Draco ushered him out with a smirk having guessed what Remus wanted to talk with her about. Remus waited until the door shut and warded it, then sat on the edge of the desk in front of her.

"Yes?" She asked hesitantly. He glared at her with a dangerous look.

"I don't think I should even have to explain why I kept you behind, I am sure you have deduced it. You aren't the most brilliant witch of your age for nothing." He said folding his arms. She sighed.

"I don't suppose you would believe me if I said there was nothing untoward going on between us?" She asked hopefully. He raised an eyebrow, but his expression eased slightly.

"I want to ask if you are doing it for your grades, but I simply don't see him being so immoral despite his severe lack of immorality." He said waiting for an explanation. She fiddled with her quill nervously feeling as foolish as if her father had been the one lecturing her.

"I can't really tell you how things developed. It's too dangerous for both of our positions." She said carefully making sure there was disrespect in her voice. No need to anger the beast.

"He had not shown any interest with anyone since his school years." He said evenly. She looked up at this.

"You don't think he cares for me." She said trying to hide her hurt feelings at his lack of faith in the man.

"It's not that I don't think he cares, it's just that I'm not sure if you understand how complicated he is. He has spent his entire life living to protect others, and knowing he was not going to survive the war. Serving two masters, one of which is an insane man destroys a person's social skills. He has spent so long acting, I can't say he even knows who he is really anymore." He said. His eyes were serious and she felt her breath hitch knowing exactly what he meant. She had wondered what he had been like before the war, but she also knew he would never be the person he used to be, and may not even be the same person tomorrow.

"What was he like...like...when you knew him." She asked nervously. He rubbed his nose unsure of what to say without invading the man's privacy.

"He was brilliant in school, and he knew it so he was very cocky. He mellowed out after he joined the death eaters, and stopped talking unless directly spoken to. I was one of the few that knew of his spying, so most people viewed him as a traitor on our side and still do. They scorned him which only made him even colder. I saw him several times with the death eaters during the first war when the Dark Lord was trying to recruit me. He was a completely different person with them. He was the youngest of their group, but he commanded everyone around and was violent to an extreme. It's one of the reasons he rose to the top so fast, everyone feared him and stepped aside not even fighting him for the position." He said frowning at the memory. She could imagine him being cold and distant, but she couldn't really see him being violent. It didn't fit his controlled demeanor.

"Do you think he's really a violent person?" She asked. He shrugged unsure.

"I don't know honestly. I drink every once in a while with him and Lucius. He has never seemed violent when out of the circle, even when he's smashed. I'm not saying he wont get physical, but has never seriously injured anyone unless if there was a reason to." He said tentatively. She had to question this, but wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"Without reason? That means he will lose it if provoked." She said not liking the way he glanced away.

"Most people are taught to tell someone your feelings when angry, he was taught to kill them." He said not sugar coating it for her. She happened to think some things in life could benefit from a sugar coating. She took a deep calming breath, and closed her eyes for a brief moment unable to find anything to say to such brutal honesty. She had known he was dark. She had felt the power he possessed that was opposite in every way from her light magic, but there was a difference in feeling the magic, and knowing how it became so tainted.

"Is he pushing you to...your of age, but still young." He asked awkwardly breaking the silence. He shifted, his stiffness vanishing at the uncomfortable question.

"Of course not. Not that I would try if he did." She said with a smile. He covered his eyes as if trying to force that image out of his mind. She heard him mumbled something incoherent that she was sure was curse words.

"Okay, well I'm here if you need me, okay? Let me know if he hurts you and I'll tear him apart." He said. She shook her head and gathered her things surprised he had given up that easily. He wasn't exactly the one to judge with his relation with Tonks, but it was still nice that he had decided not to try to make her decisions for her as if she was a foolish child. She gave him a hug that he tentivly returned.

"Thanks. Sometimes I forget I'm not alone." She admitted when she drew back, giving him a smile. He sighed, but smiled despite himself.

"Off to your next class before you get a detention. It seems that you've had the strangest obsession with getting them lately, but I get the feeling I'm not the one who you want to spend the time with." He said with amusement. She grinned and left him, glad she knew he would always have her back. No matter how insane she was being.

Severus grasped his arm in pain from the searing dark mark. He stood up and threw down the quill he had been using in anger. He couldn't even enjoy his holidays without being called on a daily basis. He hadn't even recovered from their last meeting, and yet he was already calling again. He snatched up his death eater robes and put them on while he rushed out the door. He was so exhausted, and his nerves were on fire from repeated crucio's so he wanted to be sure not to be late and possibly draw any unwanted attention to himself. He waited until he was outside of the gates to put on the bone death eater mask, and twisted away into the night appearing to the manor.

He was the first one to stride in the large stone room that they met in. He immediately kneeled at this masters feet and bowed in reverence.

"My lord." He murmured rising again to fall into his normal place at the right hand side of the Dark Lord. The other masked figures filed in quickly behind him, and soon the room was full of hooded figures. Lucius was the last one to come in, and stood to Severus's right. He surely hoped that Lucius wouldn't betray him in the way he was betraying the Dark Lord from his honored position on his right hand side.

"You are going to attack a muggle village tonight marking the first real offering of war from our side. This has to go perfectly. We need to make sure the idiots who have refused to bargain with us are regretting their decision and get a good taste of what's coming to them." The Dark Lord said smoothly, letting his red eyes travel over the group of powerful witches and wizards. His eyes fell on Severus last and he approached him slowly.

"Severus, my loyal serpent. You are to lead this mission. No survivors." He ordered coldly. Severus looked up into the Dark Lord's eyes and saw a challenge. The Dark Lord expected him to spare one of the muggles no doubt and he would be punished heavily when he failed.

"Yes my Lord, it is an honor." He said humbly, making sure he looked honestly please with this request. The Dark Lord eyed him for a long moment, but then nodded and dismissed everyone.

"The village is Dunhurst. It's small so it should be manageable for you." He said coldly returning to his throne.

The village wasn't small by any means. It had at least three thousand muggles in it including cops and law enforcement who had guns. Severus dodged a bullet by hiding behind a car to catch his breath, knowing the muggle would be around the car in just seconds. Lucius had been fighting with him all night and looked about as worn as he felt covered in sweat and dust from the destruction of the evening.

Severus took a deep breath and spun out around the car blowing the entire street to pieces killing what little remained of the towns resistance. The other death eaters were searching for survivors, but the last report he had been given had suggested that was almost complete also. He walked through the remains hearing Lucius walking behind him slowly, panting from exhaustion.

Hermione's magic was protesting the use of so many unforgivables tonight, and he was sure she had felt it despite his efforts of closing off their connection.

"Snape, this girl is a pureblood." Avery said, dragging a brown-eyed girl across some rubble. Severus stopped in his tracks at the sight of the girls black hair and brown eyes.

"So?" He asked coldly ignoring the pain that the girl's resemblance to his future child. Avery shifted uncertainty realizing Severus was not in a mood to be tested today.

"Shouldn't we spare her? Her parents were just here on vacation. I checked to make sure her blood was really pure. We can't kill one of our own." Avery argued. Lucius came and stood behind him realizing his reluctance despite his cold front. Lucius had been the one who had discovered that Teresa was pregnant and knew of his feelings on the subject. Severus couldn't take his eyes away from the tear streaked face that looked up at him pleadingly.

"Severus." Lucius hissed warning him not to lose sight of what mattered. It was this child, or never knowing his own child. He sneered in distaste at the child.

"As far as I'm concerned it's a traitor. Kill it." He said coldly, then stalked off to where his death eaters were congregating waiting for him to cast the dark mark so they could leave.

"But…" Avery started.

"Are you questioning your leader?" Lucius spat at the man who quickly shut up. Severus flicked his wand and sent a silent morsmordre into the dark sky, ignoring the Avada Kedavra and bright green flash of light.

"Back to headquarters before the aurors come." He stated, turning on the spot and appearing just as the aurors started arriving as predicted, having been alerted to the dark mark being sent into the sky.

The meeting that followed went as expected.

He was punished when Avery said he had killed one of their own, but he knew if he had shown mercy...he would have been tortured within an inch of his life for failing his master's instructions of leaving no survivors.

As soon as he was released, he apparated to the hole in the wall he had become attached to during the first war. Lucius was right behind him despite him not having told the blond where he was headed. He ordered them both scotch on the rocks, which was on the bar by the time Lucius sat down. He toasted the man mockingly.

"To being some of the most despicable men in existence." He said solemnly. His friend toasted him with a frown and tipped the fiery liquid back not knowing what to say for a long moment.

"You couldn't have saved her. You have ordered the death of more children than I can count not to mention the ones you killed with your own wand." The blond said finally without his normal formality. Severus's hand shook slightly while he finished the glass and slammed the glass down and pushing it forward for a refill.

"I realize that. You are being a terrible wing man tonight. I'd rather forget this night in a merciful alcohol induced blackout." He snapped taking the drink that was refilled immediately by the attractive bartender who was new.

"She looked like you. That's what's gotten you all shaken up." He said softly ignoring Severus's not very subtle hint to drop it. Severus glanced at the man and tipped the drink back feeling the first drink start to his system.

"How's Chelsea?" He asked changing the subject to Lucius and Narcissa newest addition. Narcissa had found out right after the Dark Lord's comeback that she was expecting. The Dark Lord had been pleased to have a new line of death eaters in waiting and had taken the news rather nicely.

"She is a quiet child. I can only imagine how having the Dark Lord in her living room on a daily basis will affect her." He said seriously twirling his drink, not nearly as concerned with getting all out smashed as Severus was.

"Draco turned out fine and he was attached to the Dark Lord at the hip as a child." He said. His godson had turned out pretty good considered the chaos he had grown up in. He couldn't say the same for Crabbe and Goyle, who had either emotional damage that made them idiots, or perhaps they simply had been dropped on their heads too much as babies.

"Have you been in contact with Teresa?"Lucius asked. Severus rolled his eyes at the man, and found himself relaxing on the bar stool now that he had lost count of the drinks he had drunk.

"Of course. She is still refusing to stay in place. She is due in just a few weeks, but she ignores all of my warnings."

"You know the Dark Lord will kill you both if he finds out that you knew and kept the knowledge from him." Lucius said carefully, not wanting to push him too far in his stressed out stage. Severus sighed and ran a hand through his hair wishing he hadn't drunk so much when this action made him think of Hermione and how she loved to thread her delicate fingers into his hair.

"What do you suggest I do? Just take her to the Dark Lord and say 'oh I thought you might want to know I got one of my victims knocked up and you shouldn't kill them'." He said mockingly. Lucius gave him a pointed look.

"Yes, that's exactly what you should do." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Severus shook his head taking his drink that the bartender had refilled giving him a wink that he sneered at. What was it with girls and their fascination with dark men.

"I think that would kind of defeat my attempts at keeping them safe." He said. Lucius shrugged and smiled at a beautiful women who was sitting on the other side of the bar and leaned forward to give him a good view of her assets. He wasn't as against flirting with the random female as he was.

"Tell her that if she tries to leave again you will take her to the Dark Lord. She is putting you and the baby in danger just because of her idiocy. If she leaves again it will be her own fault." He said dismissively. When he finally turned back to Severus, he sighed at the unbelieving look he was getting.

"I will not willingly take her to the Dark Lord and risk my child being killed. I would rather die." He said coldly. The blonde rolled his eyes.

"I realize that. GIve him a reason to spare the baby. Tell him she was part of the raid on the Tableaux mansion. If he thinks she's a pureblood, but just a traitor, he wouldn't want you to kill the child since she hasn't tainted it with her beliefs yet. It will be recepted with the same grace that Chelsea was accepted with. He believes himself immortal, so he wants to make sure when we all die that we have loyal servants to replace us that are properly brainwashed into being the perfect army of death eater children." He explained evenly. Severus sat up a bit straighter unable to believe he hadn't thought of it before. It was cruel to her, sure, but this was a cruel war they were involved in. It was the only way to protect his baby. He started to feel a hope that he had suppressed since he had found out about the baby realizing he might actually be able to keep the baby.

"You're a genius." Severus said pulling out some muggle bills from his teaching robes that were under the more formal death eater robes.

"I have to go." He said standing up to leave abruptly. The blond waved him off knowing there was nothing he could do to postpone his leaving when he was so determined.

"Go, I have something I have to see to." He said winking at the women on the other side of the table who giggled and whispered something to her friend. Severus rolled his eyes and made his way out in a flurry of robes that caught the attention of several of the sluttier woman's attentions. He didn't care, he had to see Teresa now. He didn't consider what he had to say to her as threatening her, but rather issuing her a promise. He didn't have to leave the child's life in her hands after all, and that thought gave him a powerful happiness that was enhanced by his intoxicated state. He turned appearing to her small flat that served as her safe house, being the only one who could get through the apparition wards including herself. He stumbled around in the darkness trying to find the door to the room she shared with her husband.

He could hold his baby one day. He had always wanted a family, but considered it too dangerous to consider. He imagined himself holding a small baby as he had with Draco and Chelsea, but one that had his dark hair. His intoxicated mind wondered what it would look like for Hermione to hold his child. It was a foolish thought for sure. She would never accept a child of his. She was only entertaining his affection for her because her life depended on it. He might be a lot of things, but he was not a fool. His foolish heart throbbed at the vision his mind created of her holding the baby with her brown curls falling forward around the baby's face. He knew she would coo at the silly thing, she was sentimental like that.

He fell into a table distracted, and unstable in his drunken state and cursed loudly. The lights flared on, and a sleepy Teresa came from the door he hadn't managed to get anywhere close too.

"Severus?" She mumbled confused, rubbing her eyes. He straightened himself focusing on the tirade he had planned for her.

"You left the wards again. I felt them go off. I specifically told you not to." He said coldly. She shrugged trying to focus on him in her sleepy state.

"Tristan had a function I couldn't miss." She said blandly with no apology. Severus stalked up to her surprised with his coordination he managed in his anger at the foolish women.

"I told you not to leave." He said with a force that made her cringe back.

"I'm sorry." She said sounding more frightened than apologetic. Severus shoved her against the wall, careful to not actually hurt her or the baby, but made sure as hell that she looked up at him with terrified eyes, her tiredness vanishing.

"Let me make myself clear. You will not leave here again, or I will take you straight to the Dark Lord and demand that he cut the child out of you, and dispose of you in whatever method he deems worthy." He said silkily, shaking with the anger that he normally restrained around her, but that the alcohol was letting seep through his filters.  
She nodded her head shakily. He glared at her for an icy moment before releasing her forcefully.

"Good." He snapped. Her husband finally came to see what the issue was without even having his wand at hand, despite the fact that he very well could have been a real death eater.

"What's going on?" He asked looking between the two of them in confusion.

"Nothing to concern yourself with wonderful protector." Severus snapped knowing it had hit a nerve when the man's cheeks went red, and he folded his arms defensively.

"At least I'm not the rapist." Her husband taunted. Severus ignored him and gave Teresa a final warning glare, then turned on the spot and apparated to the outside of the gates content that his point had been made.

He found himself in a decent mood despite the terrible evening and he took his time going back to his quarters despite the fact that he would only get two or three hours of sleep. He sent off a patronus with the basic details of the raid so the Headmaster would know before the papers came out in the morning.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a figure outside of his office obviously having been waiting for his return.

Teaser "Sever...oh Hermione." The Headmaster said seeing her curled up with Severus. She swallowed unsure of what to say.

Please leave me a review so I know what your thoughts are on this story :) If you have a particularly good idea, I will try to incorporate it in the story!


	8. Chapter 8: Caught in the act

Thank you for all those who have been reading this story! I feel loved seeing the reviews and also the traffic to this story. I have been enjoying the tango between them and developing their strange relationship. In this chapter it is still slightly dark, but the next chapter is the holidays which should be fun! I have been going back and forth on this chapter and after deleting about five thousand words and rewriting the entire thing I think I'm pleased with it finally.

Hermione was curled in front of the door asleep looking like an angel compared to the beautiful, but uncouth women he had just left. He slowed his steps even more so she wouldn't wake up. He stopped right in front of her and watched her chest rise and fall gently feeling a strange emotion flood through his chest at the sight of her so prone and trusting.

She knew he had murdered tonight. He knew that his shield was imperfect when it came to her, and that she would have gotten the general gist of what was happening, and yet here she was waiting for him. He had assumed she only cared because she needed him, but now he wasn't quite so sure of that.

He picked her up gingerly and closed his eyes struggling to control his emotions when she shifted and curled up against his chest with an arm reflexively winding around his neck.

"Severus?" She asked sleepily completely unaware of what it did to him when she called him that. He took a deep breath and entered his rooms knowing it would be foolish to be caught in the halls with her in his arms. He strode carefully with her so he didn't trip with his uncoordinated state. He set her down on the couch in the living room of his quarters and tried to draw back without waking her up more, but her eyes fluttered and she hummed waking up.

"What happened?" She asked sitting up unsteadily. She pulled him to sit down on the couch with one hand and covered a small yawn with the other. He should have gone to his rooms. He should have taken her to her rooms. He shouldn't have sat down next to her knowing he was still drunk.

He did it anyways.

"We raided a village." He said stonily. She smiled languidly when he sat down next to her and she didn't let go of his hand.

"I figured as much. Your shaking, he crucio'ed you." She said with concern. He shrugged not sure how to handle her concern. It wasn't something he was used to getting, or even felt he deserved after the terrible events of earlier in the night.

"Hardly the worst crime that was committed this evening." He said tiredly. She gave him a sympathetic look and shifted so she was in his arms.

"You did what has to be done." She said making him lean back so she could snuggle up to him. He had never snuggled before. The knockturn alley whores that normally entertained his bed weren't exactly the cuddly type.

"It doesn't make it any less of a horrid thing." He said wrapping his arms around her instead of pushing the foolish girl away like he should have. He was going to blame his lack of discretion on the alcohol and not his foolish heart.

"Maybe not, but it makes you not guilty. You are one of the keys we need to end this war." She argued sleepily. Her hand traveled under his thick death eater robes and he stiffened having forgotten he was wearing the wretched thing, but she was unaffected and he relaxed when her hand rested on his white undershirt right above his heart. He kissed the top of her messy curls needing her comfort tonight more than he liked to admit. He knew if it weren't for her having her little body entwined in his that he would probably be so drunk right now that he would be knocked out for a full day just to take the edge off his overwhelming guilt and the horrific memories. Instead, he was indulging himself in his own personal brand of heroin that was even more pleasant, and far more dangerous than any drug he had ever tried or created.

"Go to sleep Sev. We can sleep in since it's the holiday." She mumbled using his familiar name that up until that point he had only ever allowed Dumbledore and his mother to call him. All others he had brought down with a scornful comment that ensured it would be the first and last time they ever called him Sev.

"Fine." He accented unable to deny her anything she wanted. His eyes closed in obedience, or lethargy and drunkenness, he wasn't sure. He was asleep before he could even worry about not being able to sleep after the traumatic evening.

Hermione woke up feeling warm and content. She knew Severus had to have taken her back to her rooms since she was sure she wouldn't have gone back willingly. She groaned and shifted feeling stiff, but stilled releasing that the warmth against her was not any sort of pillow she had ever owned. Her eyes flew open and to her shock she was curled up against Severus. She felt a rush of fear worrying that she had somehow sleep walked into his rooms and fallen asleep with him, but when she tried to pull back his arms tightened around her.

"Not yet." He mumbled. She laid back down relaxing figuring if he had his arms around her, that he had to have realized she was there. It just didn't seem like him to be so open with his affection. She thought hard and was able to vaguely remember him talking to her the night before on the same couch they were on now, but she couldn't remember exactly what they had said.

She sighed and relaxed knowing that he would probably not wake up for a while. He had come back extremely late since she had last done a tempus at 2am, and had fallen asleep between now and then. She relished the feeling of snuggling with the stern man and let her mind indulge in fantasies of this happening again. She knew he would probably ban her from waiting for him when he was called and definitely wouldn't allow her in again, but it didn't matter. He couldn't read her foolish thoughts. While he was asleep at least. She trailed her hand over the white material of his button up undershirt memorizing every inch of him while she roamed her eyes freely without worrying about him snapping at her.

He was handsome even in the best of times, not in the traditional way, but in the dark mysterious way. He had a defined jaw, but perfect lips that were tempting to kiss even while he was asleep. His eyes were his best feature by far, but she could hardly inspect them while he was sleeping. She looked into them at every opportunity though and had felt a rush at every new shade they took up when they were alone.

The fire that had been burning low in the marble fireplace roared to life, and the head of the headmaster appeared in the green flames.

"Sever...oh Hermione." The Headmaster said seeing her curled up with Severus. She swallowed unsure of what to say. He didn't seem to need an explanation because he made no comment about her current position.

"Can you wake him? I need to speak with him. I will be through in five minutes." He said with a frown that she was confident had nothing to do with her.

"Of course." She responded worriedly. The headmaster's head disappeared and she felt guilty for having not given a thought to the people that were affected by the raid. She could feel the residual of the dark curses he had used last night seeping through her connection, but she didn't have any idea how many people were killed. The Dark Lord had been mostly quiet except for the occasional isolated attack, but she was fairly confident that if the raid was on a small scale that she wouldn't have felt anything through the connection with how much he blocked her out.

She tried giving him a firm shake to wake him up, but he didn't even stir. She frowned knowing he must be beyond exhausted.

"Severus." She said loudly. Still nothing. She decided to try waking him up with her magic. The rush they got would definitely be a difficult thing to sleep through. She focused her magic and let it strum through him smiling when he stirred blearily and looked up at her.

"It's too early." He fussed, but pulled her up to kiss him easing any fear she had about how he would react to her being in his arms when he woke up. His kiss was slow and teasing unlike his normal possessive kiss. She hummed in pleasure when his hand traveled up her shirt and rested on her back gently pressing her against him lightly, so she could feel his hard despite the layer between them. She drew back unwillingly, but knowing if they continued she would forget all about the headmaster's message.

"I wasn't done with you." He said, his voice cracking from just having woken up. Before she could protest he pulled her back into a more awake and powerful kiss than before and any thoughts of the headmaster were pushed out of her mind by the enticing pleasure he offered her. She returned the kiss, shifting so she was completely on top of him and had her legs wrapped around his. He didn't protest, but ran a hand into her hair tugging it gently making her draw back and giggle.

His eyes sparkled with a sly warmth and he pulled her back into the kiss letting his hands wander freely. She welcomed this and reached down to remove his outermost stiff cloak.

The fire roared to life and she stiffened. He pulled away from her and glared at their visior not seeming worried at all about the fact that he had just been caught by the headmaster kissing a student, though he did remove his hands reluctantly from under her shirt.

"Yes." He snapped. She climbed off him avoiding the headmasters gaze.

"I assume you didn't give Ms. Granger the opportunity to pass on my message." He asked sitting in the chair closest to the fireplace. She looked up to see him popping a lemon drop looking as unfazed as usual; minus the tension she had seen him earlier. Severus shrugged sitting up and pulling her down beside him making her relax when she realized she wasn't about to be expelled for some insane reason. They had to have been breaking at least a dozen schools rules. Though considering how many laws Severus had broken last night, she doubted he cared about silly things such as school rules.

"We were busy discussion more important things than your arrival." He said evenly, summoning a bottle from an otherwise dark room that presumably led to his bedroom.

"I see. I must say your patronus was rather misleading last night." The headmaster said amiably. Severus downed the potion and grimaced.

"Hangover?" The headmaster asked without judgement. Severus nodded setting the empty bottle on the table.

"I was drunk. I don't even have the slightest idea what I sent you. I just wanted to make sure to let you know something had happened before the papers came out this morning." He said dismissively.

"Yes, well your explanation of a raid on a muggle town didn't really prepare me for this." He said pulling out the morning edition of the Daily Prophet and handing it to Severus. She glanced over at it and felt her heart stop.

MUGGLE TOWN OF THREE THOUSAND DECIMATED- YOUKNOWWHO DECLARES OPEN WAR

"Yes well, they do have a love for flair." He said tossing the paper back without reading the actual article. His face was impassive, but he ran his hand through his hair stressed and looked to her. He was waiting for her to tell him how disgusted she was in what he had done. A part of her was horrified that he had participated in the extinction of an entire town of innocent people. The other part of her broke knowing what kind of guilt he was no doubt overwhelmed with and would live with his entire life.

She swallowed thickly and held back the tears she felt prickling at the corner of her eyes for the injustice of everything.

"Everyone is going to panic." She said. The headmaster nodded putting the paper away.

"Yes. It will definitely put a damper on the holiday season. I suppose that was his intentions. Even when he was a boy Voldemort hated the holiday season." The headmaster said purposefully ignoring when Severus wrapped his arm around her waist; saying silently what he would never voice. That he was relieved that she was staying by his side.

"You knew him when he was a boy?" She asked startled that someone as evil as Voldemort had ever been a child. The headmaster looked at her seriously over his spectacles.

"Yes, but that is a story for a different day. Severus, I must go and do some damage control, but remember my door is always open." The headmaster said gently to Severus who just sneered at him.

"As always, I am fine." He said curtly. The headmaster sighed and gave Hermione a pointed look.

"Take care of him for me." He instructed her and flooded away before Severus could retort that he didn't need anyone taking care of him. Instead he just mumbled grumpily 'meddling fool' to the fireplace where the headmaster had just disappeared from.

Severus flopped back on the couch and pinched the bridge of his nose, the stress from last night coming through all at once.

"You okay?" She asked hesitantly. He shook his head with his eyes closed, his breaths unsteady for a moment. She reached out to him realizing he was on the verge of a breakdown and pushed his hair out of his face. She waited for his hand to fall away and his eyes to open before attempting to speak to him.

"Would you like me to leave?" She asked unsurely. He rubbed his hand on her thigh comfortingly, whether trying to comfort her, or soothe himself, she wasn't sure.

"You probably shouldn't stay too long, Potter is likely upset. It's one thing to know the war is coming, but a completely different thing to see it plastered all over the front of the daily prophet." He said staring at the ceiling lost in thought.

"Do you really think he's the only person who can kill the Dark Lord?" She asked not sure if she believed the whole prophecy business. He shrugged indifferently.

"No clue. He is powerful, there's no denying that. He simply lacks focus. And training." He said solemnly. She had to agree. The last thing he wanted to do was fight the war. He was much more interested in Draco now a days. Not that she blamed him, his fate had been sealed when he was a baby, and he had no choice in the matter.

"I found an interesting solution to my Teresa problem." He said changing the subject. She perked up at this.

"Oh yea? She asked. He nodded.

"Yes, Lucius came up with the brilliant idea of taking her to the Dark Lord if she tries to leave her safe house again, and presenting the baby as the beginning of his line of replacement servants for when we die." He said looking to her finally to see her reaction. She mulled this over with a frown.

"It's dangerous." She said.

"Everything in my life is." He said evenly. She felt a smile tugging at her lip at the expectant way he was looking at her. He wanted her to approve of him keeping the baby. No doubt he realized she was young and ambitious, so he would be expecting her to walk away.

"I think it may just be insane enough to work." She said warmly. He sat up and pulled her up to him kissing her thoroughly, the pleasure traveling openly through their connection. She relaxed in the intimate display that she could definitely get used to. He pulled back once she was breathless and warm from the inside and out.

"You need to go check on Potter. I have much to attend to so I will be busy, but I should be free on Christmas eve." He said. His eyes were dark with lust while his hands traveled under her shirt soothingly. She hummed in disappointment.

"Haven't you done enough, can't he let you enjoy your holiday?" She asked with a frown. He stood up gracefully, not taking his hands off her lower back and led her to the door. She felt a rush of shock at seeing him in his still death eater robes that were a sign of his commitment to Voldemort and the pureblood ways. She missed a step, but quickly caught herself not wanting him to realize the fear she had at seeing him in those robes. In his teaching robes he was simply intimidating, these robes were created to broadcast his murderous ways and install a mind gripping fear in those that saw him. If she was to be with him she couldn't loose it seeing him like that. It was a part of him and his role for the order so she would have to get used to the frightening robes.

"This was only the opening act in the grand play he has planned. Now he is going to take ahold of the fear he had caused, and use it to negotiate with the ministry, which he will need one of Albus's trusted men for. He certainly can't just go waltzing into the ministry to do the negotiating himself." He explained pausing at the door to pull her back to him.

"Be safe, okay?" She said worriedly. He gave her a curt nod.

"I'll try. Go on now before I decide to keep you locked up here forever." He said giving her a chaste kiss.

"I wouldn't mind that." She retorted with a smile. He rolled his eyes and pushed her out so she wouldn't see him smiling at her tactics.

"Out with you."

"Good bye would be more pleasant." She called back to him through the door. She shook her head at the prickly man. Christmas eve. wouldn't come soon enough.

They had slept in, so by the time she headed down to the great hall it was lunch time. Not that anyone was eating with the excitement that the morning's headlines had caused. She took a deep breath and entered looking for Harry. He was sitting between Ronald and Neville so she came up beside him and glared at Ron who backed off letting her sit down. She supposed Ron and Harry had tentatively made up, but that wouldn't' be enough to make her forget his despicable behavior up to that point.

"Hermione, where were you?" Harry asked giving her a relieved hug. She took a sandwich off a nearby tray.

"Speaking with the headmaster about my parents." She said vaguely to cover for her absence. She had already placed a fidelius on their house last summer, but she thankfully hadn't told him about it. He gave her a sympathetic look.

"I guess being my friend does have it's drawbacks." He said guiltily looking rather miserable. She sighed feeling guilty for lying. She was in far more danger by the poisoned energy in her, and even her illicit relationship with her potions professor; being friends with Harry was on the bottom of her list of dangerous things.

"Don't be like that. You know that I wouldn't stop being your friend for anything." She said giving him a small smile. He tried to return it, but failed so he just squeezed her warmly.

"Thank you." He said piling some more food on her plate since he had deemed that she wasn't eating enough. She couldn't even finish what she herself had put on the plate, so after playing with the food for a while she pushed it back. She was due for her bi-daily check-ups with Madam Pomfrey anyways and knew the matron would give her a nutrition potion while she conducted all the tests.

"I'm going to the library." She lied getting up to leave. Harry gave her a concerned look.

"Alrite." He agreed not knowing what to say that would stop her from going to the library in one of her determined states.

When the matron was done, she was writing on her clip board with a frown. It didn't take a genius to realize that meant the results weren't good. She sighed and curled up in the bed drawing her knees up to her chest wanting to ignore the world for right now. She could feel that Severus had indeed left the castle and was blocking her so she felt utterly alone. She could go to Harry, but no doubt he was be with Draco by now happy and content in his arms. Or as happy as one could be after such terrible news. She hid out in the infirmary until it was time to go back to bed. Luckily the matron understood that she just wanted to be alone and didn't bother her, but she knew when she went to the common room that Harry would have some questions for her.

She entered the sparsely crowded common room surprised to see Draco sitting casually with Harry on one of the larger red couches as if he belonged there. The other students didn't seem to care. She tried to sneak up to her dorm without catching their attention, but Draco spotted her and hit Harry on the shoulder.

"Hermione." Harry called waving her over. She sighed and sat down on one of the chairs next to where they were.

"We went to the library to check on you." Harry said leaning forward and taking her hand. She could tell he was worried about her, but she didn't like the suspicion Draco was looking at her with.

"I went for a walk." She said defensively. Harry looked at her seriously, his green eyes sparkling with the stress of the day even with Draco at his side.

"If something is wrong, you can tell me. You have been different for months now. You haven't been eating, you are up at all times of the night, and don't pay attention in class. It's like you don't even care anymore." He said with a hint of desperation. She knew she should just suck it up and tell him the truth, but she couldn't do that to him. He only knew she was up at all times of the night because he himself was also.

"I am fine. I promise." She said feeling on the verge of tears despite her attempt at comforting him. Draco pulled Harry back with a meaningful look and she could tell they were having one of those silent conversations without words. Draco then held out his hand giving her a cold look.

"Your arm." He ordered her. Harry didn't say anything, he just looked away. She reeled back when she realized that they both thought she was a death eater. She knew they would come to their own conclusions, but accusing her of being a traitor wasn't one of the ones she had expected.

"You think I work for him." She said wanting to sound as angry as she felt, but it came out sounding hopeless. Draco gave her a pointed look.

"He had always been interested in you. You might be a muggle born, but your brilliant, and most of his followers are far from even an average intelligence." He said reasonably. She took a shuddering breath and held out her arm for his inspection. He rolled up her sleeve carefully and frowned at her exposed arm.

"Happy." She said feeling betrayed. Harry leaned forward with a matching frown and reached out touching the crook of her arm.

"You've been using drugs." He said softly and with guilt as if he himself would be responsible if she had been doing drugs. She rolled the material down covering the marks made by the repeated blood drawings from Madam Pomfrey. Draco sighed and ran a hand through his hair in a motion that imitated his godfather.

"I can assure you, I have done no such thing." She said without any real force behind it.

"I second Harry's observation. Our manor has had the fair share of drug users pass through over the years so I have to say, that looks remarkably like track marks." Draco said unwillingly. She looked between the two worried boys unsure of what to say to their foolishness.

"I suppose if that's how low you think of me, then there's nothing to it." She said standing up and walking past the now silent boys to her dorm. She heard Lavender come in right after her so she drew her curtains and cast a muffalto charm and cried until she fell asleep.

Her dreams centered around Severus. She remembered the rare times he smiled at her, when he was trying to teach the class and caught her glance, losing track of what he was saying. The way it felt when they were in the great hall, and she looked up to him to find him watching her protectively. She could practically feel him with her with his arms protectively around her while she slept.


	9. Chapter 9: Amber

Lets see, what disclaimers for this chapter…implied character death (no one important), scenes that will have very graphic depictions of sexual activity...hmm and a little mush. This chapter is a little on the long side, but it needed to be since I couldn't break it up without ruining the effect.

Thank you for my loyal reviewers! You guys are the best! It is always helpful to hear what you guys think of where it's going!

She had slept for at least a good twenty four hours before she woke up feeling refreshed and more in control emotionally of herself. She had mockingly said that she was in the Christmas spirit yesterday, but now she was actually in the mood to celebrate. She got up and padded to the shower ready to start the day in some way or fashion.

She sighed and let the hot water pour over her body letting warmth seep into her, pushing back the bone deep cold that the magical chaos inside her caused. Having Severus leave her also wasn't helping. She couldn't pinpoint exactly when how she thought of him had changed. She had been fighting her feelings for him by burying them deep under layer upon layer of reason. The way he had pulled her back to him yesterday, prolonging their contact even in his sleepy state had caused something inside her to change.  
The thought of them together didn't seem quite so insane right now.

She couldn't wrap her mind around the brutal truth that he was a murdered though. He hated every murder sure, but he was able to kill them. She couldn't fathom watching the life go out of someone's eyes knowing their existence ended because of you.

He did it continuously. She thought back to Lupin's comments on how he changed when he joined the death eaters. He had become more sullen and withdrawn to compensate, but perhaps that was the only way he kept his sanity. That and plenty of alcohol.

She got out and dried herself, off taking her time with applying copious amounts of lotion to prevent her skin from drying out in the freezing weather they had been having. She was also postponing dealing with Harry and Draco. She wasn't upset with them over their insane accusations, but was more amused now than anything. She supposed she should do something to ease their fears, but doing so would only stress Harry out more, so if he wanted to believe she was a drug addict, she was hardly going to correct him. It was better than knowing she was dieing and he couldn't stop her. She might even play along as a recovering drug addict for him.

By the time she came out of the shower it was dark on the second day of their vacation. Harry and Draco were playing muggle chess looking completely lost in their game.

"A rook cannot move like that Draco! You have to follow the rules!" Harry fussed throwing his hands in the air in frustration.

"How do you know that? Perhaps you just learned the wrong rules." Draco said with a smirk. She sat besides Draco and picked up one of the books they had been presumably studying before getting to the game. Harry sighed and moved his piece, giving up arguing with the slytherin boy.

"Hey Hermione. How you feeling?" Harry asked with a small smile. She shrugged opening the defense book and rifling through it.

"Fine I suppose. As well as expected." She said evasively. Draco wasn't so easily distracted, and he leaned back from the board game and eyed her seriously.

"You are high." He asked without the normal mocking tone the accusation normally had. She looked up at him in surprise.

"How did you know?" She asked carefully playing along. He rolled his eyes.

"I think I would know what someone looked like when they were high. You know that stuff can kill you right?" He lectured her seriously. She bit her lip unsure of how to comeback at that. She didn't want Harry thinking she was going to overdose or anything.

"Go get your stash. We'll destroy it right now. I know it will be difficult to resist Hermione, but you can do it, your strong. I can't bear the thought of you…" Harry said, trailing off overwhelmed even with the thought of what could happen. She sighed and did a simple summoning charm on several vials of white ground tincture that she used in some of her experimental potions. Draco caught the vials and examined them carefully.

"Is that all of it?" Harry asked her solemnly. She nodded reluctantly and grimaced when Draco threw the vials in the fire causing the glass to break and the white powder to catch fire. Draco looked back to her with a closed off look. He knew very well that real drugs wouldn't have caught fire like that, but Harry was convinced by the display and smiled in relief.

"There, now if you're stressed you can always come to me at any time of the night okay? You don't need that stuff. You're too good for it." He said with emotion. She returned his smile.

"Right. I will let you know if I feel like I can't resist. You don't have to worry about me." She insisted, glad when he wrapped his arms around her fondly. Draco sat down next to them and stared into the fire for a long time watching the fire crackle lost in thought. She sighed and wished he was as oblivious as Harry was, it certainly would make her life easier.

They spent the next few days together and she opened more crackers than she had deemed responsible. She had all sorts of little trinkets and noisy little magical toys littering the table they had taken over. She grabbed another cracker and pulled it open revealing a little black bird that walked around the table looking a little drunk, but was still glaring at everyone who came near it, reminding her hilariously of what she imagined Severus would do if he were drunk. She couldn't help but laugh heartily at the little creature.

"I have to say, you are surprisingly happy for someone who should be needing a hit right about now." Draco whispered, said sitting down beside her and keeping his voice down so the nosy third years by them wouldn't hear. Harry had run upstairs to find something or another, so Draco had jumped on the chance to corner her. She smiled and shook her head.

"I haven't left your sight." She reminded him.

"I don't know what that stuff was, but it wasn't your stash." He said forcefully glaring at her with his slate grey eyes. She shrugged and gave the little bird a push with her finger and grinned when it tried to bite her.

"How do you know that? It very well could have been. You have a suspicion, but that's it." She said drawing her knees up to her chest unaffected by the conversation which seemed to just annoy Draco even more.

"You know how much he worries about you? Do you realize that he would be devastated if he lost you?" He whispered furiously rubbing her arm roughly when she didn't respond. What could she say? She didn't blame him for being upset at her, she would be furious with herself if she had been in his position. He obviously cared for Harry more then just as a passing fancy, and wanted to make sure he wasn't getting hurt unnecessarily.

"Hermione." He said turning her to face him. She tried to keep her face impassive, but she realized that he was a legamens just a second too late. He drew back with a start and she felt her breath hitch in fear that he would tell Harry.

"Draco, he can't know." She begged him, her good mood vanishing. He looked at her in shock, his mouth moving but nothing coming out for almost a full minute while he regained his composure.

"I didn't realize...I'm sorry." He said frowning, obviously upset with himself for his quick judgement of her. She threw her arms around him and gave him a warm hug. He stiffened at first, but then relaxed and returned the hug.

"If you need anything…" He said gently trailing off.

"All I need is to know that you won't breathe a word of it to him." She said drawing back. He looked at her seriously for a moment, but then nodded reluctantly.

"I think he will need to be told eventually, but now is not the time." He agreed. She sighed in relief and gave him another quick hug.

"Thank you." She said. He grumbled something about her over emotional state, but Harry came down just in time to see her hugging Draco.

"What's this?" Harry asked putting down the mountain of chocolate he had collected. Hermione put some distance in between her and Draco noticing some of the room's occupants were staring. She had no doubt there would be rumors about her and Draco spending the whole holiday holed up together in the gryffindor common room getting freaky and other such nonsense.

"She just needed to talk some things out." Draco said giving Harry a pointed look. Harry's eyes widened, but he smiled reassuringly at her and handed her some chocolate.

"Here, I thought this might help you with your cravings. Not the same thing really, but chocolate does have a very good mood enhancer." He said helpfully. She smiled and took the offered honeydukes sweet.  
"Thanks Harry." She said, giving Draco a grateful look at his discretion. He took several of the sweets and sat down on the couch next to Harry casually putting his arm around him.

She shook her head and popped a lemon drop that didn't touch the ones that Severus supplied for the headmaster. She had no idea how the students hadn't caught onto the blooming love right before their eyes. To her, it was clear as day that they were in love. It wasn't just how they teased each other and what they said, but what they didn't say. The way they seemed to know what the other was thinking before they said it, the way Harry blushed under the blonds serious gaze, even Draco's insults that he directed at Harry just to watch him get riled up were as obvious as them waving a 'i'm in love' flag around for the whole world to see.

Yet, by the time school started she knew the rumors would be about her and Draco, not Draco and Harry. Short of snogging in public, they would never be the topic of gossip beyond the usual. Harry was always gossiped about for being the chosen one, and being so unnoticing of the girls throwing themselves at him that it caused them to do it even more. Draco had become another topic of the horrid gossipers because of his recent very public denouncing of his fathers way by of taking Harry as a friend.

She watched the two cuddle together and wished it could be that easy for her and Severus. She was not so fool as to think that she would ever have that with Ron despite the uneasy truce they had made. She knew somehow that the way Severus and her magic was mingled together was not natural. She was confident that she would go insane if she had to lose him. Even the last few days of silence from his end of the bond had driven her to several sleepless nights and to constant fidgeting. This helped her convince Harry of her drug use, but was simply frustrating to her. She was going through her own strange form of withdraw from him, and was counting down the minutes until he would send her a message singling his return.

Draco leaned in a whispered something in Harry's ear making him blush, but smile. A rather unpleasant sixth year came over and she grimaced wondering if someone had finally noticed the two of them. They were hardly being inconspicuous.

"I heard you do fluffy." He said, directing the irrational statement to Hermione. She looked at him blankly wondering if he'd lost his mind.

"She doesn't have anything Randy, go away." Draco said coldly, glaring at the boy with a force that surprised her. Randy turned to Draco as if in challenge.

"Oh really? How do you figure you're gonna make me go? I asked the girl a simple question. Here in Gryffindor we allow our women to speak for themselves." Randy spat at Draco, his ugly fat fists balled at his side. Draco stood up leaving Harry's embrace.

"Well perhaps you should make a rule that no men should speak if all of the gryffindors are as idiotic as you are." He growled rising to the challenge.

"Draco." Harry said standing up trying to calm the blond down to no avail.

"Well perhaps we should make a rule that no murders should be in here. I think that would disqualify both of you." Randy said vehminsoulsy. The common room stilled at the escalated argument, and she stood up finally unsure of what to do. Harry took a shuddering breath and she wanted to go to him, but she wasn't sure if that would just make things worse. Draco took a step closer to Randy using his height to an advantage and looking down at the boy.

"I think Randy..." He began with a silkily tone that he had no doubt picked up from Severus.

"That you have forgotten who I am. I may have renounced my father's political ways, but I can assure you that I happen to agree with his methods for taking care of idiots that do not know their place in life. I don't care about pureblood status, but we can hardly have foolish dunderheads such as yourself reproducing, now can we?" He said smoothly letting the meaning behind his words sink in. Randy paled and backed off at the thinly veiled threat.

"I'm going to tell the headmaster what you said. You will be expelled!" Randy spat back with uncertainty. Draco took out his wand pointing it at the boys neck.

"Go ahead. I'll have you on the Dark Lord's hit list before you can even say 'I'm an idiot'." Draco taunted. Randy opened his mouth to retort, but no sound came out.  
"Well, if we are done here, I do have more important business to attend to." He said impatiently tugging Harry out of the room. Hermione followed with her head hung. The way the entire common room had been looking at her had bothered her more than she would like to admit. She always thought herself as not vain, but being judged as nothing but an addict was difficult for her. She was no longer the brightest witch of her age, now she was now the screw-up witch who used to be the brightest witch of her age.

They got out out to the snow covered grounds and she took a deep steadying breath to regain her equilibrium. Harry laughed at something Draco said and threw some snow at him playfully starting a mini snowball fight. She stood back and watched the two boys together with amusement. Suddenly her public image didn't seem such a high price to pay to keep him as happy as possible. He had already had such a difficult life, she couldn't make things harder on him with burdening him with something like this when he was just getting attached to Draco.

She knew that when he found out he would distance himself from Draco reflexively, insistent that he would end up dieing too if he were to get too close to him, and in war, you need as many friends as possible.

Severus was in the middle of brewing a particularly dangerous potion for the Dark Lord when the alarm bells he had set for Teresa went off. He dropped the silver stirrer and placed a hasty stasis charm on the potion so it didn't ruin. He was sure it would be a few hours before he could finish it if the confrontation he was about to have was any indicator.

He left the manor in a flash and used the tracking charm he had placed on her when he found out about her first attempt to leave, and used it to apparate to her. He appeared outside a dingy apartment in Southerby. The cramped hall reeked of smoke and he knocked harshly on the door hoping he was wrong, and she wouldn't be so foolish as to leave her safe home to come here. He waited angrily outside the door that had paint peeling off or several areas, so upset that he might actually follow through with his threat. He cared for the girl since he felt guilty for what he did to her, but to come to such an unsafe place was insanity.

Finally the door creaked open, and a haggard looking old man peeked through the crack.

"Yes?" He asked weary of Severus who still in his unfamiliar death eater robes that were unlike a normal muggle attire.

"I'm here for Teresa. Is she here?" He asked the rough man coldly. He hummed and glanced both ways in the hallway to make sure he was alone, but then moved aside to let Severus come in. Severus stepped into the tiny apartment that was littered with various debris, and he couldn't help but plug his nose at the smell. The old man didn't say anything else, but went into the kitchen and started shifting things around in a useless attempt at cleaning. There was only one door, so he slammed it open without a warning and wished he hadn't. She was in bed with a disgusting man who had a lack of hygiene and obviously didn't know how to use a razor. She squeeked in shock, and pulled the covers up to hide herself. Severus turned away while they fumbled with their clothes.

"I will be in the living room." He said icily shutting the door again. He paced the room fighting with himself about what to do with her. She was being beyond reckless now. He had to end this. Was it really worth her life though? She was nowhere near a magical city, but if she had mentioned at anyone the details of her pregnancy, it would be fairly easy to track her. She came out in a large shirt, apparently unable to find her own and with a frown on her face.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as if it wasn't obvious exactly what he was doing there. He stopped pacing and faced her furious at her for putting him in the position of either killing her or going back on his word.

"I told you to stay where you were." He snapped coldly. She shrugged shaking slightly when she did so. He grabbed her arm and pulled her forward shocking her.

"Hey, what are you doing?" She whined trying to pry herself out of his grip. He released her after confirming his suspicions. She was drunk. He didn't know much about babies and pregnancy, but he was fairly confident that drinking could damage them, and if he knew that, then that meant she did too.

"You know, I was going to show you mercy." He said silkily getting his wand out before she could reach for her own from the pile of stuff she had left on the ratty couch. He bound her with ease and placed a silencing charm on her when she started begging him to let her go. He levitated her out carefully only for the baby's sake.  
The grouchy old man gave him a nod as if he wasn't performing magic in front of him, and wasn't kidnapping the occupant of his apartment. Severus suspected the man was pleased to be rid of her. He apparated them both to the manor's gates, and he tried to ignore her panicked wiggling while he levitated her. He took several deep breaths to control his fury at her. It would be suspicious of him to be any angrier than the generic distaste for a traitor that was an inconvenience to him.

Lucius saw him on the way down to the study he knew the Dark Lord would be in since he had just had the pleasure of having a meeting with him in there not more than two hours ago.

"Couldn't listen, could she?" He asked plainly falling in step besides Severus.

"She was drunk and cheating when I found her. I would have given her another chance, but that was simply too much." He said bitterly glaring at the back of the girl who was going blue in the face no doubt, trying to yell at him.

"What do you think will happen to her?" Lucius asked interestedly. He may not be loyal to the Dark Lord, but he was still a little messed up for all the years of serving he did with the Dark Lord.

"I don't know, and don't particularly care right now." He admitted. Their conversation ceased when he reached the study's door and he knocked firmly, but not too loud as to make himself a nuisance.

"Enter Severus." The Dark Lord called irritatedly. Lucius gave him a pat on the back for luck.

Severus entered making sure to levitate Teresa right into the Dark Lord's line of sight. He wasn't disappointed by the curious look the Dark Lord gave him over the paper he had been studying.

"What have we here?" He asked watching the women struggle curiously.

"My lord, it has come to my attention that there is a slight complication arising from the raid on Tableaux mansion." He stated broadly and waving vaguely in the direction of Teresa. The Dark Lord stood up and walked up the the frightened women, taking particular interest in her large belly.

"I see you did exactly what was asked of you, minus the contraceptive charm." He said with amusement and poked the women's over large stomach absently. He wasn't cursing him yet, so Severus hoped his good fortune would last.

"What am I to do with them?" He asked inspecting a cut on his hand as if uninterested in the conversation. He of course was watching the Dark Lord's every move out of the corner of his eyes, but he had long ago mastered the art of polite disinterest.

"I suppose the baby will be useful. Yes, it would do just fine with you as a father. It could prove to be a distraction though…" The Dark Lord said trailing off and looking to Severus who looked at him with distaste at the thought of having to deal with the child, then apparently changed his mind.

"I suppose you are not easily distracted. I'll call you when the child is out. I don't particularly want it to stay in it's causing more than necessary. I wouldn't want her tainting it." He said giving the struggling women a look of annoyance.

" As you wish My Lord." He said with a small sigh. The Dark Lord went to his desk and grabbed some papers on new potion research that had been stolen during a raid a few weeks back.

"Oh, don't sound so down-put Severus. It will help keep you fighting knowing you have someone who depends on you. Here is the papers you requested. Anything else?" The Dark Lord asked in a final way that suggested that should damn well be everything.

"Yes, My Lord. Thank you." He said and released the levitation charm on Teresa ,making her crumple into a pile on the floor. He turned and left without another glance knowing that if he was so much a fool to turn around that he would probably turn to salt.

He got back to his potion just as the stasis charm was wearing off and tried not to think about what he knew was going on the other side of the manor. Sometimes it was best not to think about the consequences of his actions, despite the fact that he preached about that very same thing continuously to Potter.

He stirred the potion and added the unicorn blood to it. The Dark Lord would enjoy the effects of this potion which would make him feel more powerful with every dose. He was not so foolish as to actually increase the power of his opponent, so the potion was simply one that affected the perception of power in the drinkers mind. After the war he would call it a confidence booster, but for the Dark Lord he called it a power amplifier. It sounded much better.

He became so caught up in the potion that he was startled when his Dark Mark flared and he dropped the scooper he had been using to bottle the potion. He felt a rush of something that was foreign to him that he couldn't quite place. Excitement maybe? A touch of fear? He set the bottle down and followed the magical tug from the dark mark to the throne room. Avery passed in right before and he put on his mask realizing this wasn't going to be a private ceremony.

He strode in and took his normal place on the right hand of the Dark Lord's throne. The room shifted in anxiety at the late arrival of the Dark Lord, but no one spoke to ask what was going on. Lucius gave him a knowing look under his mask.

The entrance doors were slammed open, and the Dark Lord stood in with Narcissa in tow holding a little bundle. He felt his heart throb at the sight. He wasn't sure exactly what was said or done during the induction of the newest addition into their circle, offering it the same protections as he himself received as part of the Dark Lord's innermost circle. He simply couldn't take his eyes off the little baby that was his. Narcissa whispered comforting words to the little thing who seemed to understand that something was going on and thankfully didn't cry.

The Dark Lord took the baby from Narcissa and held it up, presenting it to the rest of the room.

"Our newest member." He said proudly. The baby was wiggling in the uncomfortable position as all of the death eaters came and kissed the baby one by one. Even Bellatrix seemed smitten with it and pinched it's cheek fondly. Finally everyone returned to their place and he could see them doing the math and looking around trying to figure out who hadn't gone up to the baby, then almost simultaneously every eye turned to him in shock. The Dark Lord himself kissed the baby then brought it over to him slowly, enjoying the decorum of the moment. Severus looked from the Dark Lord to the baby with jet black hair and was suddenly terrified to take it.

He supposed it should have been instinct to take it out of the Dark Lord's hands since he was a psychopath and all, but he honestly was confident that the baby was safer with the insane man than with him.

"You are always the first to rush into battle never showing an ounce of fear, and yet here you are terrified of a little baby. I promise, it doesn't bite. Not as of yet at least." The Dark Lord teased handing the baby to him expectantly. He took it gingerly knowing it was expected of him. It was simply duty, that was all. The baby wiggled in his arms trying to make itself comfortable, and his breath caught at the black eyes that looked up into his. There was no denying it was his, it resembled him in every way except his large nose. It had it's mother petite and adorable nose.

"Everyone is dismissed." The Dark Lord ordered. The room emptied around him, but he paid no attention to anything beside the little creature in his arms that was looking at him with a curiosity that seemed strange for a baby that was only a couple hours old at the most. Narcissa came and stood behind him and smiled at the baby.

"She's beautiful isn't she. A smart thing too." She said fondly putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You need to take her to Hogwarts, I'm sure the headmaster will want to see her." She reminded him, snapping him out of the trance. The baby shouldn't be here with cold- blooded murders, it needed to be where it was safe from jealous death eaters that might try to take it out.

"It's a girl?" He asked her, leaving the throne room to head out, glad that Narcissa had her wand out since he was too nervous of moving the baby to attempt to grab his like he normally did while walking the halls.

"Did you not know?" She asked in surprise. He shook his head and shifted the baby so it was in a more natural position in his arms. She sighed and mumbled something about 'foolish men' under her breath.

"Let me guess, you don't have a single thing for her, do you?" She asked with amusement.

"Lucius was the one who came up with this plan." He said in a low voice glancing around to make sure they weren't being overheard.

"You are aware of her mother's true status correct?" She gave a sharp nod and cast a muffalto for him. She had always been a sensible witch.

"I wasn't sure if the Dark Lord would buy it or not, and if he didn't, there would be no reason to have any supplies at the ready." He said as evenly as possible seeing that the baby was starting to fall asleep. Narcissa hummed at this, but made no further comment. When they got to the gates he gave her a quick kiss of the cheek.

"Thank you for everything." He said with honest gratitude. She smiled gracefully at him.

"Don't even think of it Severus. It was the least I could do after all the times you have saved my foolish husband from torture or death when he missteps. You know I will always be indebted to you." She said warmly and gave the baby a kiss on her forehead making her stir in her sleep.

He apparated away careful to not wake the baby, who thankfully slept right through it as insane as it was. He took his time walking to the castle since it was now well past dark on Christmas eve. If he wasn't wrong, it was actually Christmas. He had planned on coming back after the potion was done so he felt a little bit of guilt at having unintentionally lied to Hermione.

Only he could lie on a daily basis to everyone, but then feel guilty for not meaning to lie to Hermione. It was foolishness.

"She's going to be the end of me." He whispered softly to the sleeping baby.

It had taken hold of his finger and had it's little hand wrapped around it in sleep. He had anticipated feeling some sort of fondness for the baby, but he was fairly confident that he had never loved anyone so much before, including his strange attachment to Hermione.

He got to the headmasters office just after the large clock near the great hall chimed twelve. He knocked softly, so he didn't wake the baby knowing Albus would still be up at his desk like always. The man had long ago managed to create a potion that made it so he didn't sleep; one that Severus had always been tempted to use for on the nights where he worked without sleeping. Until he realised the reason the headmaster was so strange was probably a side effect of the potion. Then he would lose all interest in it again.

"Come in." The headmaster called.

Severus entered, shutting the door behind me carefully. The headmaster was at his side in an instance.

"She was born? She has to be at least five weeks early still." Albus said worriedly looking down at the sleeping baby, but taking it fondly anyways. He was reluctant to let go, but had the feeling it would be passed around quite a bit over the next few days.

"I might have sped up the process a bit. I found her mother out of the safe house and engaging in some dangerous activities. I took her to the Dark Lord and told him it was a pureblood so he accepted it with open arms." He said summarizing the events with as few of details as possible. The headmaster caught on if the frown he gave him was anything to go by.

"I see." He said with disapproval. The baby saved him from the scrutiny by shifting and giving a large yawn that caught Albus's attention.

"Oh you have your father's eyes, don't you?" The headmaster asked the baby when she looked up at him sleepily.

"I think some people would like to meet you. I must say you are the best Christmas present I could give them." He said with a warm smile to the frowning baby. Severus took her back from the headmaster while he fooled everyone that could possibly want to see the child. No one had even known about her, so there were quite a few shocked reactions. She was passed from person to person much as she had been in the Dark Lord's meeting, only in a cherrier format. He let down his guard between him and Hermione, and felt her worry overwhelm him. He could hardly ask the Headmaster to flood her in front of so many witnesses, but he wanted to see her. He needed her after such a trying week.

"Come to the headmaster's office." He said using a reverse form of legilimency to make her read his thoughts. She seemed surprised, but pleased so he figured she wasn't too upset about him lying to her.

"If I need a secret keeper I know who to use. I had no clue." Mcgonigal said, her accent thick with sleep. She held the baby happily smiling down at her and cooing, something the baby seemed unimpressed by. He sneered at her and leaned back against the couch tiredly glaring at Tonks who was sitting beside him daring her to comment on is relaxed stance. He knew she had been staring at him trying to decide how he had managed to get a girl in bed with his prickly demeanor, and he certainly wasn't going to inform them of the details.

"It's a girl, yea? What's her name?" Mrs. Weasley asked from the group of women all waiting impatiently to get their chance at holding the baby. He shrugged.

"Yes, it's a girl. And I haven't the foggiest of ideas." He said absently wishing they would all leave so he could go to sleep.

"You haven't named her yet? Surely her mother has something picked out." Madame hooch asked curiously. He shrugged unconcerned.

"I don't know if she did. It's a little too late to ask now though." He said shutting up all their questions immediately. He was fairly confident she was still alive considering Narcissa would have told him if she hadn't lived, but he it would be easier if they thought she was dead. They wouldn't question him about her since they would assume he was grieving, not on the outside of course, but on the inside. That's what the dark sort of men did after all. He popped a lemon drop needing the stress relief more than he liked to admit.

"You should name her Anastasia." Minerva said fondly smiling down at the baby. He rolled his eyes at this. He honestly didn't care what they named her as long as they gave her back soon.

Hermione knocked on the door saving MInerva from the scathing comment he had been about to make.

"Come in." Albus called, only too happy with her all the fuss over the baby. Hermione came in dressed in robes that were wrinkled as if she had been up studying all night. Her hair was pulled into a loose bun, and she had dark rings over her eyes as if she hadn't slept for more than one night. Her brown eyes still warmed at the sight of the baby though and she rushed to see it.

"Awwww, it's so tiny." She cooed, joining the crowd of women fawning over the unimpressed baby.

"What are you doing up so late?" Minerva asked her, shocked that she would break a school rule such as curfew.

"I was doing some research for Severus." She lied distractedly, and he couldn't help but notice how much more natural she was at lying then she used to be.

"Oh, at this hour?" Ms. Weasley asked with more kindness than she usually had for her. Apparently she felt guilty for her son's despicable behavior. Not that hers had been any better over the years.

"Yea, it couldn't wait. It's time sensitive." She said with a smile at the baby.

"Who's is she? Whats her name? She's not an orphan is she?" She asked in quick succession.

"Severus is her father." Hooch said after no one else seemed willing to tell her. She looked to Severus in shock that was so convincing he was sure for a moment that she truly hadn't connected the dots.

"Oh you mean you...with someone else." She said as if truly shocked. McGonagall gave her an admonishing look at being the only one to voice what everyone was thinking.

"Obviously." He drawled lazily giving her a dark look not to push it. She hid a grin, and somehow managed to get the baby out of MInerva's arms.

"Oh she's a doll. What are you naming her?" She asked curiously glancing up from the baby who snuggled up against her without the glare she had been wearing with everyone else. He shrugged not having the slightest idea. The room quickly started leaving when it became apparent that Hermione wouldn't let the girl go anytime soon. There were way too many amused looks at him when they gave their overly sentimental congratulations.

Finally it was just Albus, Hermione and the baby left, and he could breath a sigh of relief and close his eyes. He was beyond exhausted, and he knew the damned thing would want to be fed and such during the night.

"You okay?" Hermione asked quietly, having gotten the baby back to sleep quite easily. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He would need someone to watch her while he worked. Perhaps Narcissa. She would be forced to participate in the meetings though, so he needed someone for when he had to go on missions and raids. He definitely didn't want her anywhere Malfoy manor right now, and he knew Narcissa couldn't leave during such important times.  
He opened his eyes and watched her rock the baby absent mindedly waiting for a response. It would be so wrong of him to ask it of her. She would feel obligated to accept. He would only end up hurting himself if he asked her. He would get attached to seeing her hold the baby as if it was her own. It wasn't. She would be cured, and go back to Weasly. That was what happened to Dark men, they were fun at first, but they held no long term potential.

"Could you watch her while I'm at my meetings?" He asked her taking his eyes off her when he felt a throb of pain at the sight of her with his child.

"Of course." She said beaming seeming honestly excited at the prospect. She came and sat beside him refusing to allow him to ignore her presence. She put herself right in his line of vision and smiled.

"She needs a name." She said gently. He grunted and grabbed some lemon drops so he could ignore them again. The headmaster raised an eyebrow at him.

"Ms. Granger is correct. What shall we name her?" The headmaster asked refusing to let him be.

"I don't particularly care." He snapped popping some of the lemon drops. He knew they would do little good when he was so exhausted, but ate them anyways.

"We can hardly just call her 'baby'." Hermione said shifting so she was sitting next to him and touching him. He felt himself relax at the contact as her magic flowed into him and helped take the edge off his annoyance and exhaustion. His own form of heroin indeed.

"I would be fine with that. If you want her to have a name so bad, why don't you name her?" He said irritatedly, but without the snap of just a moment ago. She looked up at him in shock and he finally looked over to her feeling medicated enough to handle her now.

"Do you really want me to?" She asked in surprise at the request. He had said it to shut her up, but it really did need a name so he waved her on waiting for her ideas.

"Yes, lets hear it. Surely the naming police has something good up their sleeves." He said mockingly, but actually waiting for her idea hoping he wouldn't regret his decision. Surely she was more sensible than to name the baby Rainey or something equally as ridiculous. She smiled brightly, and looked down at the baby trying to come up with a name to fit her. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her up to him letting the stress from the day wash over him.

"Amber Savannah Snape." She said finally. She looked up at him to see if he liked it. He glanced down at the sleeping baby.

"A stone?" He asked skeptically taking the baby from her, not missing the slightly disappointed look she had, or the way she snuggled up to his arm so she could watch the baby sleep.

"Yea, have you seen the way she looks at everyone? You can tell she's going to have a strong personality. She's definitely going to be beautiful, which strength and good looks are rare, just like amber." She explained leaning her head against him and yawning. She needed sleep as much as he did. Severus had to agree with this sentiment.

"I think it's a beautiful name." Albus said too brightly for such a ridiculous hour. He nodded in agreement.

"Amber it is then." He accented, standing making Hermione fall over slightly since she had been leaning against him.

"We should retire to our quarters." He said formally, giving Albus a curt nod and waiting for a surprised Hermione to follow him out. When they were safely out in the hallway, he noticed she was itching to say something. She kept opening her mouth to say something, but then shut it again changing her mind.

"Out with it." He said tiredly.

"Do you want me to go back to my rooms?" She asked abruptly. He knew that wasn't what she wanted to ask, but was too tired to argue.

"I don't have the slightest idea what to do with it." He said making sure she knew he wanted her to come without saying as much. She nodded, but smiled pleased with this.

He entered the room realising he hadn't sat down in days, let alone laid down. The adrenaline ran out almost immediately after he entered the safe haven.

"Here." He said handing Amber to Hermione just before he stumbled and nearly fell into the sofa.  
"Are you okay?" She asked cradling Amber, but also looking like she wanted to help him. He cursed under his breath and ignored her, stumbling to his room. He collapsed in the bed, every muscle in his body suddenly seizing up with pain at having been overworked.

"Fuck." He mumbled, running a hand into his hair and closing his eyes against the pain. He was used to pain, but the sudden onslaught of the pain always infuriated him beyond belief. It was worse than a crucio because it wasn't just the nerves on fire, but the muscles themselves.

"Severus." Hermione said panicking and shaking his shoulder. He shook his head.

"I need a drink. A whole bottle actually." He ground out through the pain. His eyes shot open and he knew he couldn't resist tonight. He summoned a pain relieving potion. He couldn't take them continually, but on nights like this, he needed one. He popped the cork and drank it so fast Hermione's eyes went wide.

"Where'd you put Amber?" He asked as soon as the pain relieving potion hit his system and he could sit up. She sat down behind him and rubbed her hands into his shoulders. It was bad enough that she was here, but she was testing his limits on a day that they had already been crushed.

"I conjured her a bassinet and put her in the corner. I didn't know if you wanted her in the room or not." She said rubbing his sore muscles out firmly. He caught sight of the little bassinet and let his eyes closing knowing she was safe.

"It's fine." He said, as if he would ever dream of her sleeping in another room. She didn't respond, but manipulated his muscles into relaxing despite their overtired state. He groaned and tried to stop his mind from going in that direction, but she sighed contently making him give up fighting the tension between them that had been developing for months.

He had been trying to control himself all week, act in this way and that way, please everyone but himself. He would regret his foolishness in the morning, but right now he grabbed ahold of a very stunned Hermione and pushed her back onto his bed, catching her lips in his eagerly.

It took her a minute to respond, but he had already ran his hand up her shirt against her soft skin. He moved so he was ontop of her slim form, and kissed her with a passion that left her breathless when he finally broke it off to kiss her neck.

"Sev...oh…" She said attempting to protest, but changing her mind when he sucked at the skin causing a rush of pleasure to go through her that echoed across their bonds. His hands couldn't contain themselves, and he pulled her shirt over her head sitting back to look at her beautiful form. She was as wondrous as he imagined a goddess would look with her curly brown hair, and perfect skin. He pulled her shirt off easily and kissed her chastly on her lips, then trailed the kisses down her body feeling himself harden at her shiver of pleasure. When he had finally reached her knickers, he looked at her darkly using his dark eyes to his advantage.

She wouldn't have been able to find the words to protest even if she had wanted to. He pulled the thin material down, and pulled her legs up just enough for him to slid under her and get perfect access to her innermost folds. She gasped when he sucked gently, a complete opposite to his harsh demeanor. He ran his tongue over and inside the skin, paying particularly close attention to her senstive cilt that caused her to cry out in pleasure anytime he touched it after he had gotten her worked up. He knew she hadn't even done this with anyone else (a fact he found out from a little manipulation from their connection) which caused a small amount of guilt, but also a rush of pleasure that she trusted him to please her with something else she had denied to all other men.

She wound her hand into his hair and gripped it tightly, but pulled him closer.

"Damn you." She panted desperately. He gripped the nub in his mouth and pulled gently at it, causing her to jerk in pain and pleasure. He gripped her hips and held her down when she started to move continuously in pleasure.

"Please." She begged, her brown eyes glazed and full of emotion. Her hair was wet with her sweat and looked crazy, but he happened to think she had never looked more beautiful. He trailed his kisses back up and finally ended on her mouth. She groaned desperately, and rubbed against him and he realized he was still in his death eater robes and fully dressed.

"No." She complained when he drew back to undress himself. He smirked and took his time undressing with one hand, and keeping her pleased by slowly fingering her to prepare her. As soon as he was undressed, he got back on top of her and entered another digit into her tight entrance, wrapping an arm around her back to hold her still while she wriggled in unabandoned pleasure. She moved against his hand desperate for more contact. He happily obliged her and entered another digit barely refraining from fucking her hard when she groaned as if finally satisfied with the steady movement. He removed his fingers and kissed her thoroughly ending all protests she could have had.

He positioned himself at her slick entrance and entered her as slow as possible, making sure to continue the passionate kissing to relax her. He tried to resist himself, but part way in he thrust the rest of the way in and she gasped into the kiss stiffening in pain. He had seen several of her steamier times with Wesley, so he had assumed she wasn't a virgin. He should have been slow, he would have realized it and stopped, but now it was already done. He kissed her desperate to take her mind off the pain he had caused to flood her lust filled brown eyes. He let his hands roam over her, caressing every inch of her beautiful form making sure to hit all the spots he had noticed she enjoyed. She relaxed slowly in the kiss, and she even let her hands trail over his muscular form curiously.

He needed to move, but he refrained himself somehow until she unconsciously started rubbing against him in pleasure. He drew back and entered her gently again, loving the way her eyes widened and then fluttered closed when he reentered her. He tipped her head and kissed her neck, sucking on it making sure to leave a mark.

She gasped in pleasure, and he picked up her pace encouraged by her lack of any show of pain. He continued his kisses and was so close to coming from her tight entrance and her enticing moans of pleasure that he had to stop several times. He was quickly losing it though, and knew he wouldn't be able to handle it much longer if she tipped her neck back in pleasure like that and moaned his name again.

He found her nipple and twisted it gently between his fingers and she moaned again. He could feel the tremors of pleasure as they rushed through her making her body shake.

"Severus." She moaned desperately, and her body tightened around him when she hit her peak. She came hard and arched into him in pleasure, with a hand gripping the sheets behind her. He captured her sweet lips in a kiss and finally gave into his own pleasure unable to deny himself any longer. Her lust filled eyes locked with his when he drew back thrusting twice more into her before he came inside her with a groan, his body stiffening, and he paused in the kiss.

She moved making him ride the pleasure for longer than he had imagined possible. He kissed her once more when he started coming down and drew back giving her a little room to breathe. The magic that was entwined between them had shifted in a way that he really couldn't identify, but left him feeling higher than any potion he had managed to create had. If his mind had any doubt before that they were connected on a level that went beyond the physical, it was erased in that minuet. If the way she was looking at him was any indication, she had felt it too.

"You alright?" He asked gently withdrawing from her. She nodded taking a few deep breaths to ease her panting. She was covered in sweat, though from him or her, he wasn't sure.

He collapsed beside her, and the reality of what he just done sunk in when she didn't look at him, but stared at the ceiling as if in shock. Most girls in the wizarding world were sexually active by fourteen, he should have been more careful though knowing she was a muggleborn. It hadn't even occurred to him that she would be a virgin.

He closed his eyes, and rubbed his head tiredly suddenly feeling dizzy and a little drunk from the combination of pain potion and energizing potions he had taken over the last few days.

He felt her move his hand, and he opened his eyes expecting to see fury at him, but she snuggled up against him as if it was the most natural thing in the world, her shock having dissipated apparently. He was too tired to argue with her or protest, so he just wrapped his arm around her and closed his eyes.

"I assumed the first time would be terrible." She mumbled, running her soft hand over his arm that he had around her.

"I am not quite as inexpirienced as the boys you have fawning over you at all times of day." He whispered, not because of the intimacy, but because he was simply too exhausted to manage anything more than that. His body was falling asleep quicker than he could try to stop it.

"I feel so inexperienced compared to you." She said nervously. He hummed and kissed her neck.

"Perhaps we should do some remedial lessons to get you up to date then." He murmured making her giggle.

"Yes, we should." She said softly. She was quiet after that and he fell into a deep slumber that he was sure he would never wake up for. Except perhaps for Amber.

So What you think? R&R and let me know!

Teaser-

"So it was true?" He asked glancing in Severus's direction.

"Yea. I take it the whole wizarding world knows by now?" She asked wincing. He nodded solemnly.

"The entire wizarding world. Front page daily prophet news actually." He said pulling out a copy of the paper and handing it to her.


End file.
